you know that movie "the horse whisperer"? well, that was made for me...

if i die here (which i won't, don't worry friends and/or family and/or fanatics), it won't be at the hands of terrorists, maybe not even a swiftly moving scooter in rush hour traffic, but perhaps the most perilous thing here is something i endured this weekend...let's just call it horseback riding through the desert for those of you not into the equatrian scene...and yes, it was dangerous, and yes, it was one of the coolest things i've ever done...

i'll spare you the travel details, just know i awoke at 8 to do this, so you know it had to be good...greg and i traveled with some fellow students to giza and rented some horses for the day with 2 guides...after much bargaining and free tea, we agreed on the fair price of 120 pounds per person...or 21 dollars for an afternoon of pure awesome...

i will admit i wans't too steady on my horse at first, painfully learning that you must put your weight on the stirrups instead of just bouncing up and down while the saddle ruins any chance you have of procreation...but that lesson was learned quickly and we were on our way, desert-bound...and as we entered, i saw the worst thing ever...a dead horse, then more dead horses, and then more pieces of dead horses...i apoligize for the graphic content of this post, but i feel i must paint this picture to let you know how much i was initally regretting not staying in bed...so i will spare you all further details about the horse graveyard, but trust me, it was awful...

after that though, smooth sailing...some calm trotting for a bit while we got used to our horses, and then the guides introduce this crazy idea of going faster...considering trotting would take so long that we would all die, creating another improvised horse/human graveyard...so to avoid that we began galloping...now, i remind you, in the states, horse riding (unless you own a horse or have experience) consists of 2 mph trots around a circle for $81 an hour until you lose your balance and fall on your head (at least when i did it), but not in egypt, no not a chance...i hear the whip crack and suddenly my trusty horse takes off...full freaking gallop...and naturally i am holding on for dear life while trying to maintain my coolness because i am trying to promote the idea that american's rock...and to all of our surprise, i didn't fall off...we did full gallops on straightaways at least a dozen times and each time i got better and better...however, i have mild (and yet undiagnosed) mental problems that convinced me to wear sandals on this little adventure, which caused minor discomfort, oh yea, and major pain...

so we rode for like an hour and a half, dismounted (equestrian lingo, don't worry if you don't understand it, just pretend to, like i do) saw some pyramids blah blah blah....haha just kidding, it was amazing, we saw the first pyramid ever built, ran around a little bit and eventually made our way back to our horses...we had a short ride back, just enough time for a photo-op on the horses and enough time to realize the immense amounts of pain we would be feeling in the morning...in fact, i'm still in immense pain...i didn't even know i had muscles in most of the places that hurt...i have a renewed respect for all cowboys, indians, and any other equestrian-utilizing character, ficitional or otherwise...

the day ended with pizza hut...and i know most of you are saying, "Pizza Hut? Todd, that is totally lame!" or some variation of that sentence, but i wish to direct your attention to my pictures of the trip that are on facebook...the last few are the sunsetting behind the pyramids, the view from my table on the roof of a 4 story pizza hut/kfc conglomeration...it blew me away...and it was a fitting (and fattening) end to an exhausting and incredible day...i learned a few important lessons as well, which i will obviously spell out for you now:

1. never wear sandals while riding (especially galloping) on a horse...it hurts, and i have the wounds to prove it...
2. dead horses are an awful sight that can ruin your equestrian experience...
3. i am not fit for the kentucky derby, at least not this year, maybe in 2008 though, watch out...
4. the desert is appropriately named, as i realized there really is nothing for miles (or kilometers, if you want to be a jerk about it)...except strangely placed piles of garbage that beg the question "who would carry garbage 3 miles into the desert?"
5. finally, stretch properly before riding, it may (but probably won't) save you some post-riding pain...trust me, i can barely stand up...

that is all for now friends...i miss you all and i hope to hear from you...until next week (or the next time i figure out something cool to write about), ma'a salama...

truff

me and meester bush...

picture this:

i walk into my apt. building, head toward the scariest elevator that has ever existed (a whole blog will be devoted to that, i promise) and a nice man opens the door for me, and enters behind me. continuing his streak of kindness, he asks (in mixed english and arabic) what floor i need to go to so he can push the button...and the problem begins...you see, part of this elevator is that the buttons are all misprogrammed, so that i have to push the number 1 to get to floor 4 where i live...there is no rhyme or reason, that's just how it is (like many things in egypt), but you trying to explain this to some egyptian dude that only knows one english word (that word being 'what', which isn't too helpful to me). combine that and my lack of arabic skills and you have yourself one large pickle...so i stand there like an idiot trying to convey what i mean, completely failing...so i forgo his nice gesture and reach and push 1 myself...on the way up, he asks (in arabic) where i am from. luckily this is one of the 8 things i understand in arabic, so i tell him 'ana amrikii' and he gives me the "i knew it look"...so i apoligize to all of america, because i am single-handedly perpetuating the stupid american stereotype...

but that little experience, although it was really awkward, is the exception and certainly not the rule. in cairo, unlike some other parts of the middle east, i'd say most people either love americans or pretend to so they can sell me a small pack of tissues or an orange. overall, i have been received very well, like when i went shopping and bought a hoodie and the guy who sold it to me shook my hand like i was leonardo decaprio and i just saved his whole family from a burning building...seriously...or the random people that say "i love america, america number 1" randomly when i stutter out where i'm from...and even the camel i rode was named michael jackson, but i am not sure whether to be happy or concerned about that. regardless, egytpians have some interest and fascination in foreigners and especially americans, especially if you make an effort to speak arabic...

of course, there are awkward times walking out of the grocery store when i hear eerie calls of "meeeeeesssteeerrr bush", an obvious homage to our fearless leader, but there isn't any hostility, but rather people excited to use the two english words they know...so, in spite of america's silly foreign policy the people here are pretty accepting and more than anything, curious...however, i am sure when i venture to the other middle eastern countries, things may take on a slightly different outlook which i will document on this here blog...

so i will leave you all with some food for thought (i don't really know what that saying means, i just like it):

-i am going on a safari, and if i dont get eaten by a lion, i will probably never shut up about how hairy elephants really are, or how i outran a cheetah...so prepare yourselves for that.
-the subway here is a nightmare...imagine stuffing the entire cleveland browns football 'team' onto bunkbeds, in 100 degree whether and you have a typical cairo subway experience...
-i swam in the med. sea this weekend...the water was about 6 degrees and i nearly died as i could feel my nerve endings perish...but you should still be jealous
-will you all be embarassed if i'm out to eat with you and i get a call from an arabic speaking individual and i have to speak to them...in arabic...in public...with you?...i can hardly wait until that happens...
-finally, is it bad that i've been here exactly one month and one day, and i feel like i haven't anything truly egyptian...although, i have eaten an assortment of other ethnic foods including italian, korean, and thai and i will soon be trying yemeni and saudi food...oh well, shisha is egyptian enough for me for now...

ma'a salama friends...until next time

have your cake and smoke it too...

so i must make a correction or two (o dos for my spanish readers , ow itnaan for my arabic speaking readers) to my previous post...

first off, i switched language levels meaning that i am a little smarter and useful than previously thought, but not much....it basically just means i have more homework, so insha allah, everything will work out for the best and i will beat the crap out of this language, but so far, its winning...

finally, in my last post i said that shisha was a "harmless" tobacco product that is smoked socially all over egypt...and boy was i ever wrong about harmless. estimates say that one hour of shisha is equivalent to a pack of cigarettes (or like 18 seconds walking in the streets of cairo)...but nonetheless its an experience everyone should endure at least once...which brings me to my latest post...

shisha

if you have any social aspirations beyond meeting and hanging out with american kids in egypt, shisha is the first stepping stone toward this goal. smoked out of a hooka (many of my friends may have used or owned one of these contraptions, not naming any names...you know who you are), shisha comes in a bunch of flavors and they are all equally tasty...including melon, apple, regular, cherry, orange, many other fruits and various flavors i have yet to try...keep in mind i hate smoking, it is neither cool nor attractive, but as the saying goes...when in rome...

so i have partaken in shisha several times, coughing a lot and making a fool of myself...picture this...me taking a little puff and coughing up my liver and both lungs, exhaling a tiny bit of smoke, while next to me several egyptian dudes smoke away, plumes of smoke surrounding their entire bodies, smoke exiting from every oriface, without so much as flinching, much less coughing...needless to say i am not helping america's reputation with my lack of smoking skills...but i digress

otherwise...shisha is fun, makes your clothes smell and costs like a dollar...not too shabby, and you better believe any of you who visit will at least try it...it reallly is a social gateway (not a gateway drug) shared by the upper, middle and lower classes alike...plus the hookas are often some of the most beautiful things i have ever seen, thus they are fun to look at...and they are readily available in everywhere from the nicest little western style coffee shop (picture starbucks smushed into a minivan) to the shadiest, dirty little hang out...

i mean, my lungs are already taking the beating of their life from the pollution, often times the shisha is a welcome relief from the polluted air...god, i never thought i'd say that...oh well, the tobacco is natural and pure and free of additives thus i won't be a chainsmoker when i return, no worries ladies (or anyone for that matter)...but i thought i must this fascinating little habit that egyptians frequently indulge in...

check back soon as i address america's reputation in egypt...i certainly have some funny stories about my nationality, but i'd say 85% of this country has no ill will toward america...knock on wood...i am frequently greeted by eerie little voices whispering to me "meeeeeester bush"...it is kind of awkward, but hilarious since those are the only 2 english words many people know...alright, until next time...salam

p.s. contrary to the popular song "walk like an egyptian", i have yet to figure out anything that distinguishes the way egyptians walk from the rest of us...but my research is ongoing...

a real kick in the 'class'...

so, classes began here on sunday (yes, freaking sunday, suprerbowl sunday) and with the advent of classes comes the little loved aspects of homework and long days...but i embracing all these things, good and bad, because for the last 10 days i have had absolutely nothing, not one thing, to do. so classes starting offered me an exciting chance to interact, meet new people, and ultimately show how little arabic i have learned in two semesters...

i have 4 classes, all arabic, all the time and they include arabic grammar/syntax, arabic dictation and listening, arabic vocabulary and pronounciation, and finally colloquial egytpian arabic. thus far they have all proved to be challenging but very interesting. imagine my surprise as i had 6 straight hours of arabic on sunday (as i will every sunday and tuesday until june) and all the teachers are speaking 80-90% arabic throughout the class, breaking into english for very brief moments of explanation...granted this is all conducive to learning, but a bit overwhelming considering that at Elon, I had 3.5 hours of arabic a week. you do the math, i have 19 hours a week here in Cairo...so if i don't come home decently proficient in june, something went terribly, terribly wrong.

my class consists of 7-8 other people on my level, which is nice cuz i don't look like the dumb kid since we are all equal, and my classmates include two people my age and then an assortment of older to middle aged people from holland, pakistan, and south korea. pretty diverse and pretty cool i'd say, but thank god for the people my age or i may have no friends this whole semester. needless to say, i will be with these people for the next 5 months and hopefully, insha allah (god willing), i will be pretty darn decent at arabic when i return.

the best news is i have ONE, count it, ONE book for all my classes. eat that american universities (cough, cough...ELON) who make us buy like 91 books, use 6 pages from each book and then sell them back to the same store in perfect condition for 1/76 of the price...call me crazy, but that sucks. so i have one book that cost me 195 guiney or pounds (40 bucks) and i am a happy camper. only bad part is that the book has no english words in or on it, with the exception of the cover...i'm doomed...

anyway, i must actually attend one of these aforementioned classes now, as my first one was canceled, but i shall update again sometime soon. subjects to be covered include the wonderful egyptian past time of smoking sheesha (harmless, flavored tobacco which is fantastic), the complete lack of and nonexistence of stop signs in this country, the amazing food that will cause me to gain at least 20 kgs (take that, metric system), and the egyptian conspiracy to prevent todd and his room mates from ever exercising...anywhere...in the entire city...for real...

alright, over and out, i will see you all next time insha allah (you should already know what that means from before!)

only in egypt...

hellllloooo again from the sandy beaches of egypt...actually i am no where near any beaches, but i shall be one of these days...so as many of you already know, i love this place...the people, the food, the prices, the treacherous public transport systems, and even the dirtiness...but i have found just a few things that i don't like about this gorgeous nation...and i shall exhibit those briefly here, just so you all can have a better perspective on things...

thing one: Piasters....for those of you who dont know, piasters are what make up Egyptian pounds, the currency here...like the american penny...totally useless, cumbersome, and altogether loathed by millions, except there is one big difference here...piasters are not coins (usually), but rather paper bills...so imagine my shock when i believe that my wallet contains nearly 100 pounds (like 20 dollars worth) when in reality i have just about 75 piasters (the equivalent of about 13 cents...seriously)...that amount of money won't even buy you a gumball in the states, much less a pair of shoes on the streets of cairo...booo to piasters

thing two: grocery stores...conveniently, i live above a 24 hour grocery store called Metro...it rocks in all ways except that they have like no toiletries...in other words, todd needs razors and head to his friendly neighborhood Metro in search of them, only to find aisles of pasta and foreign cookies and fruit by the foot...i will have to hit up the "pharmacy" for anything like razors, cold medicine or contact solution...additionally, any of the comfort foods from the west are approximately 5 dollars regardless of what it is...would any of you reading this pay 5 bucks for a small box of cheez-its or frosted flakes? didn't think so...but i guess this encourages me to try egyptian foods and brands, although i really want pringles but i won't cough up the necessary 6 dollars (seriously)

thing three: pollution...when smoking a cigarette (not that i do) feels fresher than breathing the city air, i'd say there is a serious issue...i'd say a day in cairo is the equivalent of taking a dozen or so hits on the tailpipe of your mom's Suburban or minivan...when all is said and done and i leave this great country, my lungs will be blacker than my older brother, who has smoked cigarettes since he was in 8th grade, and i wish i was kidding about that...so visitors beware, driving in a taxi is already dangerous enough, but its not complete without a facefull of smog washed down by the smoke of your driver's ciagrette...i rest my case...

besides these three things though, i love this place...the culture runs circles around most i've encountered and i couldn't be happier...i shall update again soon, and tell you all the wonders of teaching sundaese refugees...perhaps the greatest experience of my life thus far...until then, ma'a salama...