so, if you have never been on a safari, drop whatever it is you're doing right now (which presumably is reading this blog...so stop it) and fly to africa (specifically kenya) and immediately go on a safari...nothing extravagant, just a few days to live among the beasts, because i just returned from such a trip and needless to say it was THE GREATEST WEEK OF MY LIFE...please allow my to "break it down"...this post shall be mighty long, perhaps you should take it slowly, i apoligize...
so the evening of monday april 23 my friend stan and I headed to cairo airport to begin our kenyan safari adventure that we have had in the works for over 2 months (a quick tidbit about my travel buddy, he is awesome...self-admitted hick from texas, absolutely hilarious and perhaps the most outgoing man i have ever met...what a guy)...so our flight left late and awkwardly stan and i were 2 of 9 passengers on a 747 that has a capacity of approx. 360 people (i calculated, i can handle simple multiplication)...obviously, it was a weird experience and we were able to wreak havoc on the plane (which we didn't...however, we calculated that EgyptAir lost approx. $10,000 on this flight...seems like a poor business decision, but i'm no expert)...anyway, we arrived in nairobi at 3:30 am, got visas, found our bags and met our guide-to-be, the one and only JOSEPH (his name is deserving of all capital letters because he made experience amazing)...after killing a few hours, settling the safari bill, and purchasing some bug spray, we were off! just stan and I in a 7 passenger van with Joseph at the helm...thus the adventure begins...
so from nairobi to Masai Mara National park is about a 6 hour drive or so, which wouldn't be bad if Kenya didn't have the BUMPIEST ROADS KNOWN TO MAN...seriously, i can't even imagine how they became so bumpy...it was as if the entire kenyan population owned their own jackhammer and did their civic duty making some deep potholes before breakfast each morning, but i digress...after getting used to the bumps (which wasn't easy, i felt like i was constantly exercising by trying to stay upright and avoid hitting my head, which sucks), we were on the outskirts of the park, viewing of first animals such as gazelles and baboons, when suddenly our back left tire got stuck in a huge muddy hole, so we attempted every idea known to man to get unstuck, to no avail, for nearly 2 hours until our personal Jesus came in the form of 4 Dutch tourists on safari...they promptly pulled us to safety and we made it to camp, and headed on our first game drive...
the first drive provided enough excitement to last my elementary school-type mind a lifetime, but the excitement was nonstop...we saw the typical zebras, buffalo, and 81 million gazelles (that is an approximation) and then stumbled on a feeding CHEETAH which was sweeter than i ever imagined. so we gawked at him/her (not to be sexist) for a while, then stumbled on a herd of elephants roaming around which was equally awesome...stan and i tried to entice the elephant to charge our van (because that would be the coolest story ever) but our attempts were futile... so we ended our short first drive, but we were pumped with so much success and couldn't wait for the forthcoming 8 hour drive the next day...
the next day began with light rain that persisted most the day, which would have bothered me, but i was on A SAFARI so i didn't care...we saw the usual elephants, gazelles, a few ostriches, and some cool birds for a few hours, then we found the motherload...4 lions hanging out, 3 of which were lionesses hunting a sole gazelle and one male...the gazelle probably thought we liked gazelles a lot all of a sudden, because he couldn't see the lions, but after a while he came to understand that gazelles (typically) don't attract large crowds, and he suspected that trouble was afoot (which it was, in the form of 3 lionesses)...but he managed to escape and we were about to leave when the male lion got up...we watched as he walked toward our van and my window was open (we have this on film, just you wait!) and this huge lion strolled up to our van, literally 4 feet from me MAXIMUM and walked around the back of the van and proceeded to PEE ON OUR SAFARI VEHICLE! i'm not sure if it was his way of saying "get out of my park, i'm the king" but it was perhaps the coolest thing ever to happen to me and stan (is it sad that the "coolest thing to ever happen to me" involved a wild animal peeing on something? that's just plain ridiculous)...the rest of the day was great, although we were constantly recalling how cool it was to have a lion pee on our van...so we ended the drive after 8 amazing hours, and headed to a Masai village where we toured the town of a group of Masai (a tribe found in East Africa) and bought loads of cool wood carved stuff (originally my bill totalled nearly 80 dollars, so i had to get picky) but after thoroughly enjoying the village and engaging in their customs, we headed to camp, had some tuskers (kenyan beer) and hit the sack...
it should be noted that our guide, the amazing Joseph, made this trip unforgetable...he knew everything about every animal which was helpful...we would often ask questions to gauge the behavior of the animals like "what would happen if i ran up and stole that warthog baby from the mother?" or "what would happen if i ran up and smacked that lion right in the ass?" to which Joseph calmly replied "It would immedaitely kill you"...point taken...
anyway, we drove to Nakuru the next day, and stayed in a gorgeous hotel in the town, but stan and i were literally the ONLY white folks in the town, at least that we could tell...which certainly wasn't a problem, but it didn't exactly allow us to "blend in" like we can in cairo...but we made the best of the sleepy town by finding a pool hall and enjoying more tusker and prepping for our final safari day...
our final day was spent at lake nakuru, which was incredibly gorgeous but couldn't really compete with the urinating lion. we saw about a million flamingoes (literally), lots of giraffes, and a bunch of huge rhinos which made the experience really memorable, and overall it was a perfect way to end the unbelievable safari...so we headed back to nairobi that afternoon, bid farewell to the amazing joseph, and took nairobi by storm, and by that i mean we walked around a lot...
actually, we ate the famous Carnivore restaurant there, where we enjoyed delights such as crocidile (which i didn't like) and Ostrich (which i enjoyed thoroughly)...the meal was amazing, and we decided to hit a recommended dance club afterward, even though i hate dancing and clubs, but why not? i may never be in nairobi again...so we walk in to the club named Florida 2000 and i immediately spy 30 of the most beautiful women i have ever seen (by the way, kenyan women are drop dead gorgeous) and i was in utter shock...however, our kenyan friend we met informed us they were indeed all prostitutes, which disappointed me, but its not like i would have talked to them anyway, so the fact that they were prosititutes probably saved me from making lame excuses about why i wouldn't talk to girls...well, the drama didn't end there...being white attracts the prostitutes because they assume we have money (HUGE MISTAKE, though my newly ironed shirt exuded wealth)...but since stan told them our kenyan friend was his girlfriend, they preyed on me...and before i knew it a woman named hannah was sitting next to me, offering her services...i had to fib a little and say i had a girlfriend back home and insist i wasn't interested (although she was beautiful) and oddly enough she didn't leave but we ended up talking for over an hour...it is a funny story i know to say that i befriended a prostitute in nairobi, but it was really sad hearing her story and my eyes were certainly opened by the experience, certainly something i won't soon forget...
so we spent the next day strolling around nairobi (a city that has a terrible reputation, but is actually quite safe and neat), and we attempted to enter the national museum after walking 2 km to it, but it was closed which was a detail that EVERYONE we asked for directions failed to mention...so we had some beers, listened to some of the worst karaoke i have ever heard (a rendition o f 'my heart will go on' that can only be compared to being as bad as my dancing if you can imagine), and prepared to depart at 3 am, which went off without a hitch...again, our plane contained only 20 people which creeped me out, and i hadn't realized that daylight savings time had changed the time, so i was incredibly confused most of the morning, but we arrived safely with hundreds of pictures and amazing memories to share...
and if the aforementioned details didn't convince you to head on an african safari, perhaps my pictures can, which will be up shortly. anyway, overall the safari was an unforgettable experience of a lifetime that will go down as one of the most fun experiences ever...i do recommend that you all try it at some point, as you undoubtedly will adore it...i will leave you again with my trademark list and i bid you all farewell....
1. kenya has it made (minus the severe poverty, kenya rocks...the people are incredible, the women are gorgeous and the scenery isn't bad either)
2. flying on a huge jet at 2% capacity seems cool, but it was actually quite odd
3. the browns finally didn't make me regret being from cleveland with their draft choices, thank goodness
4. safari is acronym for Super Awesome Forage into the Amazing Reality of the Incredible (okay, that acronym attempt sucked, i admit it)
5. safari is actually a word that comes from arabic, from the word safar which means to travel (i'm such a linguist)
6. don't worry, my room mate gave me an extra stick of deodorant so i do not smell (at least i shouldn't)
7. the true heat of cairo is coming and is inescapable...god help us
8. i never want to be an adult, i wish i could just go on adventures every few weeks
9. by far the greatest souveneir i acquired in kenya was a authentic lion's claw...its def real (i can tell by the remaining flesh on it)...plus it makes me feel cool...
10. keep the family of Brenna Minor in your thoughts tonight. you may remember a few posts ago I mentioned her as the girl I had the privelege of traveling with over spring break who got in a motorcycle accident. well, while i was on safari she passed away at the age of 17. a tragic end to a terribly tragic turn of events. things like this should never happen, and the pain that her family is enduring is far beyond anything i can imagine. again, i write this blog to help myself heal through laughter, but keep the family in your thoughts.
african love
todd (aka the lion king)
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
let me count the ways...
for those of you who knows me fairly well, or at least have spent a decent amount of time with me, it is no secret that i have some serious issues with the great country known as the United States. in many ways, the the things the country has come to stand for are quite the opposite of every belief i hold in my little bleeding liberal heart...rampant materialism, nuts foreign policy, unabashed egos etc. however, i have lived abroad for about 3 months now, and while i love experiencing new cultures and people, there is are just some things that the united states does undeniably well. so no, i am not writing to bash the U.S. today (perhaps later) but rather to write about the things i truly miss about our troubled, yet fantastic, country...so here we go...
obviously, first and foremost, my family and friends are greatly missed, which should seem evident by my nearly constant emails, facebook messages and skype calls...but what can i say? you guys are fantastic and i can't wait to see you again...sentiment aside, my real list begins...
1. washing machines/dryers/dishwashers: there is something about doing laundry in the bathtub and then hanging it on a line that will make you wish you had a nice washer/dryer set fresh from sears. seriously, there is nothing worse the putting on my shirts with stretched necks, crunchy jeans, and sorry-excuse for socks...not to mention, nothing gets clean (i mean REALLY clean)...the water is always brown/grey and terribly gross after i wash a load, and let's just say i can't wait to do some laundry in june! also, washing your dishes by hand sucks, but our kitchen barely fits a sink and a fridge, much less a dishwasher...oh well
2. large, convenient stores: i gaurentee you all underestimate how nice large, all-inclusive stores like target are. your "one-stop shop" if you will. however, in egypt if my list of things i need includes chicken, vegetables, aspirin, and deodorant i must make at least 2 separate trips, because apparently deodorant or aspirin have no place in grocery stores, but rather completely separate stores in different parts of the city. chalk it up to me being lazy and spoiled, but whatever. oh and i almost forgot, this country doesn't really sell men's deodorant...well, except for the one stick thats like 8 bucks and obviously 13 years old...so luckily my room mate had an extra stick, or let's just say my next 2 months would have been unpleasantly sweaty and smelly
3. BEST BUY: again, seems ridiculous, i know, but i love everything about best buy...nothing makes me feel better than buying a new cd and enjoying it (even i don't enjoy the cd, it is still thrilling!). however, there simply is no space for such a store. you can count on me going on a serious CD binge when i return home though
4. functional elevators: granted, elevators aren't a huge part of my life back home, but here they are a daily encounter that could end your life (seriously). its a good day if our elevator works, a great day if it arrives in under 8 minutes after pushing the button, and the best day if it takes you to the correct floor. i mean just the other day, our elevator stopped halfway between floors, giving us a 3 foot space to jump through, and at any time it could have resumed motion...harrowing is the only way i can describe the experience...i have a new found hatred for elevators
5. traffic laws: see previous posts
6. domestic animals: i understand city life is not meant for cats and dogs...not to mention most animals are considered unclean to Islam, thus pets aren't exactly welcome, but this country would be much happier if they all had dogs. if you have a dog, you know what i mean. if you don't have a dog, i doubt you're even a human...cats are okay, but their biggest downfall is that they aren't dogs, which they may never acheive
7. cable television: i try not to watch too much TV (i'd much rather play video games, duh) but i can't live without national geographic, discovery channel, and the occassional court tv. in egypt, tv consists of awkward and confusing ads (like people who lose their cars after eating at KFC?), awful and canceled american shows (except drew carey and scrubs), and AK-47 tossing contests...i'm serious, there are entire shows devoted to men throwing guns up in the air like batons, its not only weird, but it is also kind of awful...you must watch to understand
8. driving: i love my car and i love to drive (but not without loud music)...however, driving here would mean certain death for me...so i will just have to wait
9. mail service: i know most people hate getting bills in the mail, but here its worse. the bill collectors come to your door, ask for money for whatever bill, and sit their while you scrounge up the necessary Pounds. its not only awkward, but we have all come to hate our damn doorbell (which is a bird chirp, of all things...so scary and creepy, especially when im cooking and standing right next to the damn speaker)...anyway, we have bills for trash collection, gas, electricity, rent, and water, all of which a different dude collects at an undetermined time during the month...10 pounds for 'rubbish', 50 for electricity...it adds up...plus they never speak english so we stand their for like 12 minutes wondering what the hell is going on...at any rate, it sucks and my body has been conditioned to silently scream whenever the doorbell rings...
10. SHOWERS: yes, i do shower here daily, but my shower is a joke...no curtain, no stationary showerhead...it basically consists of a shower head that you have to hold and a tub and the hot water lasts all of 4 minutes (literally)...so this is a typical shower...get wet as quickly as possible, turn off water, lather up, turn on water and rinse, enjoying maybe one minute of warmth, dry off, clean up immense amounts of water of the floor since there isn't a curtain...repeat daily...i never knew showers could be full body work outs, but holding a shower head certainly takes most the relaxation out of showering...i miss my bathroom...
so that's my top 10 list...granted i still love egypt, i merely miss a few of the conveniences we enjoy as privleged americans. however, there are certainly some things i don't miss...
1. unpredictable weather: cairo is consistently hot, which i love...ohio, you suck at weather, N.C. you're slightly better
2. expensive prices: i live like an unimportant member of a royal family over here
3. george bush: need i go on?
anyway, that's all for now, nothing significant has occured lately so i figured i'd write something random, as much for me to look back on as for you to enjoy...kenya is in 3 days though, so expect some writings on that! i leave you with my food for thought...
1. i still can't figure out why no one here sells men's deodorant?
2. i've lived here 3 months and haven't seen even half of cairo, THAT'S how big it is...
3. the beef here tastes weird, regardless of how i cook it
4. every store here delivers...grocers, food, beer...you name it, it can be at your doorstep before you can say "i am getting fatter and lazier by the hour"
5. this post consisted almost entirely of seperate lists...
farewell for now
fii ammaanillah (in the safety of god)
todd
obviously, first and foremost, my family and friends are greatly missed, which should seem evident by my nearly constant emails, facebook messages and skype calls...but what can i say? you guys are fantastic and i can't wait to see you again...sentiment aside, my real list begins...
1. washing machines/dryers/dishwashers: there is something about doing laundry in the bathtub and then hanging it on a line that will make you wish you had a nice washer/dryer set fresh from sears. seriously, there is nothing worse the putting on my shirts with stretched necks, crunchy jeans, and sorry-excuse for socks...not to mention, nothing gets clean (i mean REALLY clean)...the water is always brown/grey and terribly gross after i wash a load, and let's just say i can't wait to do some laundry in june! also, washing your dishes by hand sucks, but our kitchen barely fits a sink and a fridge, much less a dishwasher...oh well
2. large, convenient stores: i gaurentee you all underestimate how nice large, all-inclusive stores like target are. your "one-stop shop" if you will. however, in egypt if my list of things i need includes chicken, vegetables, aspirin, and deodorant i must make at least 2 separate trips, because apparently deodorant or aspirin have no place in grocery stores, but rather completely separate stores in different parts of the city. chalk it up to me being lazy and spoiled, but whatever. oh and i almost forgot, this country doesn't really sell men's deodorant...well, except for the one stick thats like 8 bucks and obviously 13 years old...so luckily my room mate had an extra stick, or let's just say my next 2 months would have been unpleasantly sweaty and smelly
3. BEST BUY: again, seems ridiculous, i know, but i love everything about best buy...nothing makes me feel better than buying a new cd and enjoying it (even i don't enjoy the cd, it is still thrilling!). however, there simply is no space for such a store. you can count on me going on a serious CD binge when i return home though
4. functional elevators: granted, elevators aren't a huge part of my life back home, but here they are a daily encounter that could end your life (seriously). its a good day if our elevator works, a great day if it arrives in under 8 minutes after pushing the button, and the best day if it takes you to the correct floor. i mean just the other day, our elevator stopped halfway between floors, giving us a 3 foot space to jump through, and at any time it could have resumed motion...harrowing is the only way i can describe the experience...i have a new found hatred for elevators
5. traffic laws: see previous posts
6. domestic animals: i understand city life is not meant for cats and dogs...not to mention most animals are considered unclean to Islam, thus pets aren't exactly welcome, but this country would be much happier if they all had dogs. if you have a dog, you know what i mean. if you don't have a dog, i doubt you're even a human...cats are okay, but their biggest downfall is that they aren't dogs, which they may never acheive
7. cable television: i try not to watch too much TV (i'd much rather play video games, duh) but i can't live without national geographic, discovery channel, and the occassional court tv. in egypt, tv consists of awkward and confusing ads (like people who lose their cars after eating at KFC?), awful and canceled american shows (except drew carey and scrubs), and AK-47 tossing contests...i'm serious, there are entire shows devoted to men throwing guns up in the air like batons, its not only weird, but it is also kind of awful...you must watch to understand
8. driving: i love my car and i love to drive (but not without loud music)...however, driving here would mean certain death for me...so i will just have to wait
9. mail service: i know most people hate getting bills in the mail, but here its worse. the bill collectors come to your door, ask for money for whatever bill, and sit their while you scrounge up the necessary Pounds. its not only awkward, but we have all come to hate our damn doorbell (which is a bird chirp, of all things...so scary and creepy, especially when im cooking and standing right next to the damn speaker)...anyway, we have bills for trash collection, gas, electricity, rent, and water, all of which a different dude collects at an undetermined time during the month...10 pounds for 'rubbish', 50 for electricity...it adds up...plus they never speak english so we stand their for like 12 minutes wondering what the hell is going on...at any rate, it sucks and my body has been conditioned to silently scream whenever the doorbell rings...
10. SHOWERS: yes, i do shower here daily, but my shower is a joke...no curtain, no stationary showerhead...it basically consists of a shower head that you have to hold and a tub and the hot water lasts all of 4 minutes (literally)...so this is a typical shower...get wet as quickly as possible, turn off water, lather up, turn on water and rinse, enjoying maybe one minute of warmth, dry off, clean up immense amounts of water of the floor since there isn't a curtain...repeat daily...i never knew showers could be full body work outs, but holding a shower head certainly takes most the relaxation out of showering...i miss my bathroom...
so that's my top 10 list...granted i still love egypt, i merely miss a few of the conveniences we enjoy as privleged americans. however, there are certainly some things i don't miss...
1. unpredictable weather: cairo is consistently hot, which i love...ohio, you suck at weather, N.C. you're slightly better
2. expensive prices: i live like an unimportant member of a royal family over here
3. george bush: need i go on?
anyway, that's all for now, nothing significant has occured lately so i figured i'd write something random, as much for me to look back on as for you to enjoy...kenya is in 3 days though, so expect some writings on that! i leave you with my food for thought...
1. i still can't figure out why no one here sells men's deodorant?
2. i've lived here 3 months and haven't seen even half of cairo, THAT'S how big it is...
3. the beef here tastes weird, regardless of how i cook it
4. every store here delivers...grocers, food, beer...you name it, it can be at your doorstep before you can say "i am getting fatter and lazier by the hour"
5. this post consisted almost entirely of seperate lists...
farewell for now
fii ammaanillah (in the safety of god)
todd
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
i (HEART SYMBOL HERE) beirut
it is official, i love the whole world...
a bold statement, i know, perhaps a more accurate statement would be "i have much affection for the 3 countries i visited over spring break"...that's a little less bold i'd say...at any rate, it was nice to finally have a spring break considering my last 3 or 4 have been spent at a nursing home working ungodly hours...so i welcomed the opportunity to head with some friends to Lebanon, Syria and Jordan...i know what your thinking, and i will address it right off the bat...yes, these places aren't the most stable in the world, but i assure you, being the "seasoned traveler" that i am, i didn't put myself in any situation that would be considered more dangerous than jumping in a pit with menstruating gorillas...i mean it would be just as dangerous walking through NYC at night...the media doesn't exactly portray these places well either, which hurts, but take it from me, these places are really pretty safe and never once did i feel uncomfortable...in fact, i felt more welcomed in all these places than i do in cairo much of the time...any way, enough rambling, more awesomeness...
we arrived in beirut the 29th and the partying began...allow me to say that beirut is the coolest place in the world...another bold statement, but i am sticking by this one...let's just say we partied at a club where THE ROOF WAS RETRACTABLE so you danced beneath the stars! if that's not the greatest invention ever (besides the slinky and q-tips) i don't know what is...anyway, the scenery is gorgeous...beirut has the med. sea, mountains, valleys...you name it, beirut has it and i absolutely loved it...not to mention i partied with the son of the former lebanese president, and he also took me for a (very fast) ride in his porsche 911 twin turbo...i can now die a happy man...(i could write about beirut for the next 11 pages, but rather i will stop here and allow you to ask me the rest and check my pictures...don't be greedy)
i should say now that things didn't exactly go as planned...the 2nd night one of our travel companions got in a serious motorcycle accident...there are a billion little details and substories and i am sure as you read this you are mighty curious...but suffice it to say she is still in critical condition and we are all holding our breath for a full recovery...and while the tragedy certainly put a damper on the vacation, we decided to press on because we had done all we could for her and the investigation...thus, after a strenuous week in beirut we drove onto syria on april 5th...
(if any of you are appalled that i can write or try to be funny when such a dire situation is at hand, please understand that my philosophy is that laughter is the ultimate cure for anything...thus writing this is cathartic for me)
anyway, we pressed onto syria, driving through the Bekka Valley and saw reminents of the war this summer, including bombed out bridges (check my pictures) which was a sobering reminder that Lebanon has more than its fair share of problems...anyway, what was supposed to be an easy 3 hour drive from beirut to damascus went a little awry (the theme of this trip was things going wrong basically)...given that our group consisted of 5 americans, obtaining a syrian visa became a 7 hour (yes SEVEN HOURS) ordeal...and as bad as it sounds, it wasn't too terrible...we passed the time at the ironic Dunkin Donuts on the border, and ran around the duty free shop (where i entertained the idea of buying $60 cuban cigars, but opted for $1 Moutain Dew instead...staying true to my roots)...all the while, we watched as countless europeans jet through the border like they were running on a slip-n-slide...but after 7 hours, we were issued our visas and headed to the longest continually inhabited city in the world (how's THAT for a title) DAMASCUS...
damascus certainly was no beirut (but beirut had the advantage which i documented by purchasing an I <3 beirut tshirt, another lebanon shirt, 2 flags, a flag pin and 2 flag stickers...but who's counting?) we explored the market and bought lots of crap we don't need, but our contributions to the syrian economy were not in vain, because im proud of my purchases...at any rate, we used the next morning to explore the great mosque and a part of the old city but then decided to continue with the last leg of the trip...
Greg and I spent an hour trying to find a cab since apparently minibuses don't exist in syria (damn them) and we ended up with a small SUV type thing that was supposed to fit 5 of us...so basically tyler got the front seat, the other 3 guys sat in the back seat and the one girl laid across all our laps...safe? no...did we get many weird looks? yes...before departing damascus though, we stopped to get drinks at a rest stop where i started speaking to some dude in arabic (or tried to at least) only to realize he spoke perfect english and knew where Akron, Ohio was...cuz he graduated from OHIO STATE! what are the chances of meeting that guy in syria? sometimes my life doesn't make sense...in any case, we headed to amman, jordan cramped and tired...luckily jordan and the USA are boys so we got through the border faster than you could say "i ain't nothing but a hound dog" (what is todd talking about?)
jordan proved to be absolutely amazing, and if it weren't competing against beirut, it would have taken the proverbial cake in the coolest places contest...amman is a sleepy town, but the people are incredibly friendly and loved us and we even met some cool french girl and smoked sheesha like the professional smokers we are...then it was on to the ancient city of petra...which i think is arabic for "tourist trap"...petra is essentially the coolest place ever...an ancient city carved into a mountain (in the running for one of the new wonders of the world, move over pyramids)...it was amazing and i can hardly explain it and i doubt my pictures do it any justice...let's just say petra is cooler than me, which depending on who you are could be really good or really bad...our hotel there was cool too, although the gang was quite deflated to learn that the jacuzzi was not operating after we hiked approx. 3 miles through mountains in 90 degree weather while wearing pants...oh well, we had one day left and we were determined to make it memorable, and we did just that...
our final day was spent at the Dead Sea (the lowest point on earth, not to mention the saltiest body of water in the universe)...we found a beach and quickly took the plunge...but the density of the water makes you float on the surface, and makes swimming on your stomach virtually mish momkin (impossible) because your legs are pushed over your head...hard to explain, but trust me, you must go there...also sensational was the fact that we could see israel from our beach, and if i hadn't eaten all those pop-tarts in my teen years, maybe i could have swam there but i wasn't about to try, cool nonetheless...the oddest thing of the day was when i noticed all the funny europeans had black crap all over them, and only later did i learn that supposedly the muddy clay crap from the bottom of the sea is supposed to help your skin in some way...at first i thought "no way will i cover my pale body in this putrid garbage" but i soon gave in and smeared until i couldn't smear any further, covering my upper body in the mud (see my pictures, i look like a sea-monster)...for the record, it didn't do anything for my skin, but rather just made me look dumb which i suppose isn't a far cry from how i looked throughout most the trip (see photos where i am sporting my unusually large bug-like sunglasses)...oh well
so that was the conclusion and we flew back to cairo the next day, and we were all quite ready considering we had no idea how hard it is to live out of a suitcase for nearly 2 weeks straight...so overall, the trip was the following list of adjectives...amazing, exhausting, strenuous, exuberant, breath-taking, glorious, humbling but most of all just plain cool...i highly recommend that any of my readers (is it stupid that i call you readers? as if i write a weekly column in the wall street journal? sorry) make the trek to any of the aforementioned locations...i certainly will be returning to all the places and i hope you all consider it as well....but i suppose that is it, i will leave you all with my traditional tidbits...farewell for now...
1. riding in a porsche at mach 11 with the son of the former lebanese president is cooler than anything i've ever done (well, pretty close at least)
2. nancy pelosi was following us our whole trip...that crazy woman mimicked our route to a T, but we threw her off with our extra days in beirut...take that nancy
3. the people in all 3 of the countries (especially lebanon) are the kindest people i have ever met...not like "hold the door open for you" kind, but like "would do anything, ANYTHING, to make you happy and show you their country" kind.
4. we all bought huge (most likely female) euro-sunglasses with huge lenses to make fun of the silly europeans we saw...but i ended up liking them too...although, people literally laughed in our faces a lot when we were seen wearing them...
5. i have quite an extensive flag collection...
6. all countries should be required by international law to ban the use of toilets that have water hoses instead of using toilet paper...it is just plain wrong
7. i head to kenya in 2 weeks, shenanigans will ensue...prepare yourself...
ma'a salama
todd
a bold statement, i know, perhaps a more accurate statement would be "i have much affection for the 3 countries i visited over spring break"...that's a little less bold i'd say...at any rate, it was nice to finally have a spring break considering my last 3 or 4 have been spent at a nursing home working ungodly hours...so i welcomed the opportunity to head with some friends to Lebanon, Syria and Jordan...i know what your thinking, and i will address it right off the bat...yes, these places aren't the most stable in the world, but i assure you, being the "seasoned traveler" that i am, i didn't put myself in any situation that would be considered more dangerous than jumping in a pit with menstruating gorillas...i mean it would be just as dangerous walking through NYC at night...the media doesn't exactly portray these places well either, which hurts, but take it from me, these places are really pretty safe and never once did i feel uncomfortable...in fact, i felt more welcomed in all these places than i do in cairo much of the time...any way, enough rambling, more awesomeness...
we arrived in beirut the 29th and the partying began...allow me to say that beirut is the coolest place in the world...another bold statement, but i am sticking by this one...let's just say we partied at a club where THE ROOF WAS RETRACTABLE so you danced beneath the stars! if that's not the greatest invention ever (besides the slinky and q-tips) i don't know what is...anyway, the scenery is gorgeous...beirut has the med. sea, mountains, valleys...you name it, beirut has it and i absolutely loved it...not to mention i partied with the son of the former lebanese president, and he also took me for a (very fast) ride in his porsche 911 twin turbo...i can now die a happy man...(i could write about beirut for the next 11 pages, but rather i will stop here and allow you to ask me the rest and check my pictures...don't be greedy)
i should say now that things didn't exactly go as planned...the 2nd night one of our travel companions got in a serious motorcycle accident...there are a billion little details and substories and i am sure as you read this you are mighty curious...but suffice it to say she is still in critical condition and we are all holding our breath for a full recovery...and while the tragedy certainly put a damper on the vacation, we decided to press on because we had done all we could for her and the investigation...thus, after a strenuous week in beirut we drove onto syria on april 5th...
(if any of you are appalled that i can write or try to be funny when such a dire situation is at hand, please understand that my philosophy is that laughter is the ultimate cure for anything...thus writing this is cathartic for me)
anyway, we pressed onto syria, driving through the Bekka Valley and saw reminents of the war this summer, including bombed out bridges (check my pictures) which was a sobering reminder that Lebanon has more than its fair share of problems...anyway, what was supposed to be an easy 3 hour drive from beirut to damascus went a little awry (the theme of this trip was things going wrong basically)...given that our group consisted of 5 americans, obtaining a syrian visa became a 7 hour (yes SEVEN HOURS) ordeal...and as bad as it sounds, it wasn't too terrible...we passed the time at the ironic Dunkin Donuts on the border, and ran around the duty free shop (where i entertained the idea of buying $60 cuban cigars, but opted for $1 Moutain Dew instead...staying true to my roots)...all the while, we watched as countless europeans jet through the border like they were running on a slip-n-slide...but after 7 hours, we were issued our visas and headed to the longest continually inhabited city in the world (how's THAT for a title) DAMASCUS...
damascus certainly was no beirut (but beirut had the advantage which i documented by purchasing an I <3 beirut tshirt, another lebanon shirt, 2 flags, a flag pin and 2 flag stickers...but who's counting?) we explored the market and bought lots of crap we don't need, but our contributions to the syrian economy were not in vain, because im proud of my purchases...at any rate, we used the next morning to explore the great mosque and a part of the old city but then decided to continue with the last leg of the trip...
Greg and I spent an hour trying to find a cab since apparently minibuses don't exist in syria (damn them) and we ended up with a small SUV type thing that was supposed to fit 5 of us...so basically tyler got the front seat, the other 3 guys sat in the back seat and the one girl laid across all our laps...safe? no...did we get many weird looks? yes...before departing damascus though, we stopped to get drinks at a rest stop where i started speaking to some dude in arabic (or tried to at least) only to realize he spoke perfect english and knew where Akron, Ohio was...cuz he graduated from OHIO STATE! what are the chances of meeting that guy in syria? sometimes my life doesn't make sense...in any case, we headed to amman, jordan cramped and tired...luckily jordan and the USA are boys so we got through the border faster than you could say "i ain't nothing but a hound dog" (what is todd talking about?)
jordan proved to be absolutely amazing, and if it weren't competing against beirut, it would have taken the proverbial cake in the coolest places contest...amman is a sleepy town, but the people are incredibly friendly and loved us and we even met some cool french girl and smoked sheesha like the professional smokers we are...then it was on to the ancient city of petra...which i think is arabic for "tourist trap"...petra is essentially the coolest place ever...an ancient city carved into a mountain (in the running for one of the new wonders of the world, move over pyramids)...it was amazing and i can hardly explain it and i doubt my pictures do it any justice...let's just say petra is cooler than me, which depending on who you are could be really good or really bad...our hotel there was cool too, although the gang was quite deflated to learn that the jacuzzi was not operating after we hiked approx. 3 miles through mountains in 90 degree weather while wearing pants...oh well, we had one day left and we were determined to make it memorable, and we did just that...
our final day was spent at the Dead Sea (the lowest point on earth, not to mention the saltiest body of water in the universe)...we found a beach and quickly took the plunge...but the density of the water makes you float on the surface, and makes swimming on your stomach virtually mish momkin (impossible) because your legs are pushed over your head...hard to explain, but trust me, you must go there...also sensational was the fact that we could see israel from our beach, and if i hadn't eaten all those pop-tarts in my teen years, maybe i could have swam there but i wasn't about to try, cool nonetheless...the oddest thing of the day was when i noticed all the funny europeans had black crap all over them, and only later did i learn that supposedly the muddy clay crap from the bottom of the sea is supposed to help your skin in some way...at first i thought "no way will i cover my pale body in this putrid garbage" but i soon gave in and smeared until i couldn't smear any further, covering my upper body in the mud (see my pictures, i look like a sea-monster)...for the record, it didn't do anything for my skin, but rather just made me look dumb which i suppose isn't a far cry from how i looked throughout most the trip (see photos where i am sporting my unusually large bug-like sunglasses)...oh well
so that was the conclusion and we flew back to cairo the next day, and we were all quite ready considering we had no idea how hard it is to live out of a suitcase for nearly 2 weeks straight...so overall, the trip was the following list of adjectives...amazing, exhausting, strenuous, exuberant, breath-taking, glorious, humbling but most of all just plain cool...i highly recommend that any of my readers (is it stupid that i call you readers? as if i write a weekly column in the wall street journal? sorry) make the trek to any of the aforementioned locations...i certainly will be returning to all the places and i hope you all consider it as well....but i suppose that is it, i will leave you all with my traditional tidbits...farewell for now...
1. riding in a porsche at mach 11 with the son of the former lebanese president is cooler than anything i've ever done (well, pretty close at least)
2. nancy pelosi was following us our whole trip...that crazy woman mimicked our route to a T, but we threw her off with our extra days in beirut...take that nancy
3. the people in all 3 of the countries (especially lebanon) are the kindest people i have ever met...not like "hold the door open for you" kind, but like "would do anything, ANYTHING, to make you happy and show you their country" kind.
4. we all bought huge (most likely female) euro-sunglasses with huge lenses to make fun of the silly europeans we saw...but i ended up liking them too...although, people literally laughed in our faces a lot when we were seen wearing them...
5. i have quite an extensive flag collection...
6. all countries should be required by international law to ban the use of toilets that have water hoses instead of using toilet paper...it is just plain wrong
7. i head to kenya in 2 weeks, shenanigans will ensue...prepare yourself...
ma'a salama
todd
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