i (HEART SYMBOL HERE) beirut

it is official, i love the whole world...

a bold statement, i know, perhaps a more accurate statement would be "i have much affection for the 3 countries i visited over spring break"...that's a little less bold i'd say...at any rate, it was nice to finally have a spring break considering my last 3 or 4 have been spent at a nursing home working ungodly hours...so i welcomed the opportunity to head with some friends to Lebanon, Syria and Jordan...i know what your thinking, and i will address it right off the bat...yes, these places aren't the most stable in the world, but i assure you, being the "seasoned traveler" that i am, i didn't put myself in any situation that would be considered more dangerous than jumping in a pit with menstruating gorillas...i mean it would be just as dangerous walking through NYC at night...the media doesn't exactly portray these places well either, which hurts, but take it from me, these places are really pretty safe and never once did i feel uncomfortable...in fact, i felt more welcomed in all these places than i do in cairo much of the time...any way, enough rambling, more awesomeness...

we arrived in beirut the 29th and the partying began...allow me to say that beirut is the coolest place in the world...another bold statement, but i am sticking by this one...let's just say we partied at a club where THE ROOF WAS RETRACTABLE so you danced beneath the stars! if that's not the greatest invention ever (besides the slinky and q-tips) i don't know what is...anyway, the scenery is gorgeous...beirut has the med. sea, mountains, valleys...you name it, beirut has it and i absolutely loved it...not to mention i partied with the son of the former lebanese president, and he also took me for a (very fast) ride in his porsche 911 twin turbo...i can now die a happy man...(i could write about beirut for the next 11 pages, but rather i will stop here and allow you to ask me the rest and check my pictures...don't be greedy)

i should say now that things didn't exactly go as planned...the 2nd night one of our travel companions got in a serious motorcycle accident...there are a billion little details and substories and i am sure as you read this you are mighty curious...but suffice it to say she is still in critical condition and we are all holding our breath for a full recovery...and while the tragedy certainly put a damper on the vacation, we decided to press on because we had done all we could for her and the investigation...thus, after a strenuous week in beirut we drove onto syria on april 5th...

(if any of you are appalled that i can write or try to be funny when such a dire situation is at hand, please understand that my philosophy is that laughter is the ultimate cure for anything...thus writing this is cathartic for me)

anyway, we pressed onto syria, driving through the Bekka Valley and saw reminents of the war this summer, including bombed out bridges (check my pictures) which was a sobering reminder that Lebanon has more than its fair share of problems...anyway, what was supposed to be an easy 3 hour drive from beirut to damascus went a little awry (the theme of this trip was things going wrong basically)...given that our group consisted of 5 americans, obtaining a syrian visa became a 7 hour (yes SEVEN HOURS) ordeal...and as bad as it sounds, it wasn't too terrible...we passed the time at the ironic Dunkin Donuts on the border, and ran around the duty free shop (where i entertained the idea of buying $60 cuban cigars, but opted for $1 Moutain Dew instead...staying true to my roots)...all the while, we watched as countless europeans jet through the border like they were running on a slip-n-slide...but after 7 hours, we were issued our visas and headed to the longest continually inhabited city in the world (how's THAT for a title) DAMASCUS...

damascus certainly was no beirut (but beirut had the advantage which i documented by purchasing an I <3 beirut tshirt, another lebanon shirt, 2 flags, a flag pin and 2 flag stickers...but who's counting?) we explored the market and bought lots of crap we don't need, but our contributions to the syrian economy were not in vain, because im proud of my purchases...at any rate, we used the next morning to explore the great mosque and a part of the old city but then decided to continue with the last leg of the trip...
Greg and I spent an hour trying to find a cab since apparently minibuses don't exist in syria (damn them) and we ended up with a small SUV type thing that was supposed to fit 5 of us...so basically tyler got the front seat, the other 3 guys sat in the back seat and the one girl laid across all our laps...safe? no...did we get many weird looks? yes...before departing damascus though, we stopped to get drinks at a rest stop where i started speaking to some dude in arabic (or tried to at least) only to realize he spoke perfect english and knew where Akron, Ohio was...cuz he graduated from OHIO STATE! what are the chances of meeting that guy in syria? sometimes my life doesn't make sense...in any case, we headed to amman, jordan cramped and tired...luckily jordan and the USA are boys so we got through the border faster than you could say "i ain't nothing but a hound dog" (what is todd talking about?)

jordan proved to be absolutely amazing, and if it weren't competing against beirut, it would have taken the proverbial cake in the coolest places contest...amman is a sleepy town, but the people are incredibly friendly and loved us and we even met some cool french girl and smoked sheesha like the professional smokers we are...then it was on to the ancient city of petra...which i think is arabic for "tourist trap"...petra is essentially the coolest place ever...an ancient city carved into a mountain (in the running for one of the new wonders of the world, move over pyramids)...it was amazing and i can hardly explain it and i doubt my pictures do it any justice...let's just say petra is cooler than me, which depending on who you are could be really good or really bad...our hotel there was cool too, although the gang was quite deflated to learn that the jacuzzi was not operating after we hiked approx. 3 miles through mountains in 90 degree weather while wearing pants...oh well, we had one day left and we were determined to make it memorable, and we did just that...

our final day was spent at the Dead Sea (the lowest point on earth, not to mention the saltiest body of water in the universe)...we found a beach and quickly took the plunge...but the density of the water makes you float on the surface, and makes swimming on your stomach virtually mish momkin (impossible) because your legs are pushed over your head...hard to explain, but trust me, you must go there...also sensational was the fact that we could see israel from our beach, and if i hadn't eaten all those pop-tarts in my teen years, maybe i could have swam there but i wasn't about to try, cool nonetheless...the oddest thing of the day was when i noticed all the funny europeans had black crap all over them, and only later did i learn that supposedly the muddy clay crap from the bottom of the sea is supposed to help your skin in some way...at first i thought "no way will i cover my pale body in this putrid garbage" but i soon gave in and smeared until i couldn't smear any further, covering my upper body in the mud (see my pictures, i look like a sea-monster)...for the record, it didn't do anything for my skin, but rather just made me look dumb which i suppose isn't a far cry from how i looked throughout most the trip (see photos where i am sporting my unusually large bug-like sunglasses)...oh well

so that was the conclusion and we flew back to cairo the next day, and we were all quite ready considering we had no idea how hard it is to live out of a suitcase for nearly 2 weeks straight...so overall, the trip was the following list of adjectives...amazing, exhausting, strenuous, exuberant, breath-taking, glorious, humbling but most of all just plain cool...i highly recommend that any of my readers (is it stupid that i call you readers? as if i write a weekly column in the wall street journal? sorry) make the trek to any of the aforementioned locations...i certainly will be returning to all the places and i hope you all consider it as well....but i suppose that is it, i will leave you all with my traditional tidbits...farewell for now...

1. riding in a porsche at mach 11 with the son of the former lebanese president is cooler than anything i've ever done (well, pretty close at least)

2. nancy pelosi was following us our whole trip...that crazy woman mimicked our route to a T, but we threw her off with our extra days in beirut...take that nancy

3. the people in all 3 of the countries (especially lebanon) are the kindest people i have ever met...not like "hold the door open for you" kind, but like "would do anything, ANYTHING, to make you happy and show you their country" kind.

4. we all bought huge (most likely female) euro-sunglasses with huge lenses to make fun of the silly europeans we saw...but i ended up liking them too...although, people literally laughed in our faces a lot when we were seen wearing them...

5. i have quite an extensive flag collection...

6. all countries should be required by international law to ban the use of toilets that have water hoses instead of using toilet paper...it is just plain wrong

7. i head to kenya in 2 weeks, shenanigans will ensue...prepare yourself...

ma'a salama
todd