in reading and rereading some of my previous posts from the last few months, i have concluded that my punctuation is dreadful and borderline offensive to every english teacher i have ever had...ooops...it isn't like i don't know how to punctuate correctly, cuz i do, but i just prefer typing three little dots (...) and starting a new thought...so deal with it, too late to change now...
anyhow, things have wound down now, and i just spent the last 2 weeks with my big sister and her room mate jenny, and i dropped them off at the abyss that is the cairo airport. we basically kicked the crap put of egypt for 2 straight weeks, taking on cairo, upper egypt (luxor and aswan, which is actually south), and the sinai peninsula (dahab and sharm el sheikh)...so essentially we covered every region of egypt (minus the western desert) in 13 days and i'd say we had a pretty fabulous time...
i will spare you all the intimate details of the trip (because it was far too action-packed...and im lazy) but i will sum up each leg of the trip in simple summaries...
cairo: awesome, dirty, crazy, annoying and intense...i had forgotten how much of a pain in the ass cab drivers are in this city, but i got to use my arabic a lot which was fun but i got to revisit a lot of the things i hadn't done for months like the national museum, the pyramids, and some sweet mosques...highlight: MUMMIES...they are repulsive little old things and one still had an eye after 5000 years...now, i am no biologist but i dont know how an eyeball can survive that long...pretty icky for lack of a better word...
luxor/aswan: venturing to the south (which is called upper egypt because of where it is in relation to the nile river valley) presented all new challenges for me since i hadnt been to either city yet. both cities were neat, and luxor had the coolest place i have probably ever been in Karnak Temples and i felt like i was 8 years old again running around Chuck E Cheese...except instead of a ball pit there were 130 giant stone pillars and instead of the mascot, Mr. Cheese, there were scattered bedouins everywhere trying to squeeze every last pound from my shallow pockets...HIGHLIGHT: sailing on the nile in aswan, absolutely mind bogglingly beautiful (is "bogglingly" even a word?) and Karnak Temple...LOWLIGHT: stupid cab drivers and smelling my flesh cook in 120 degree whether...
Sharm El Sheikh/Dahab: sharm is a heinous resort for rich europeans built up by israel when they occupied the sinai...historical facts aside, sharm was pretty lame...it was pretty i guess and we made friends with lots of fish which was cool...but its way overpriced, loud, and just not my scene...if you're looking to spend loads of money to eat bad imitation western food next to swimming pools that probably cost more than my house to build, then buy your tickets immediately, you won't want to miss this...Dahab on the other hand is awesome...i had been there before, so i knew what was going on for the most part, but we logged some awesome snorkeling time and climbed Mt Sinai, the mountain where moses received the 10 commandments and god appeared as a burning bush (granted, this is all allegedly true since it clearly can't be proven)...HIGHLIGHT: great food and snorkeling in Dahab and overall cool people (i'm looking at you Mohammad and Yasser)...LOWLIGHT: lame sharm and climbing a mountain from 1 am til 4 am...the sunrise was mindblowing and the experience itself wasn't a lowlight (closer to a highlight), but my legs still hurt cuz i am i wimp...plus the people we climbed with were for the most part lame and inconsiderate, but our bedouin guide was amazing...
so we headed back to cairo the last 2.5 days and saw some other neat pyramids (not the famous ones, but their predecessors) and a really neat mosque and spent some time regaining all the energy we expended traveling...traveling truly is amazing, but it is beyond exhausting moving from hotel to hotel, fighting with cab drivers (and hotel managers), and sweating off 13 pounds a day...i still wouldn't have changed it for the world though, it was a blast hosting lindsay and jenny, and even better i loved being able to show people the country i have called home for the last 5 months, as they can now confirm most of the crazy stuff i have put in prior blogs, just ask them...
so, their visit came and went faster than my tan will (that was a failed attempt at a metaphor...in other words, their visit went quickly, and my tan will be gone soon too...nevermind)...they were here for 13 days, but it felt like a sleepover or something, but i had an absolute blast...sadly, however, since their visit has ended it means that my time here is nearer to the end...8 days from now i will step back into the country that spit me out 5 long months ago...its weird to be counting in days now instead of months and weeks, and its been hard to watch all my friends leave...i have already said some of this stuff, but important things deserve repitition...i have had an amazing experience...no regrets...
i did come here hoping to learn a ton about myself and answer all life's little questions that remain unanswered, and dont get me wrong, i have learned more in 5 months about the world and myself than 162 years of formal education could ever hope to teach me, but this experience has only spawned more questions...like what in the world i wanna do with my life? why do i want to learn arabic? and how will i continue? i do have some small and undeveloped answers for these little enigmas, but i am far from solving anything...most importantly, as my good friend grady put it, i have learned just "how small i really am"...in other words, i have realized how daunting and large this world really is, and how little i truly matter in the grand scheme of things...but if nothing else that realization gives me motivation to continue to work toward changing something about this world, no matter how small that may be (oh man i am getting philosophical and losing readers by the dozens...which means i am down to zero readers cuz i figure i had about a dozen to begin with...)
i began this blog 5 months ago, and from rereading, i really had no idea what i was getting myself into...but i have learned a lot and hopefully i can come back to the states and share some of what i learned to other people and show them that this region isn't big and scary, but rather rich with culture, oddities, and amazing people (except most cab drivers)...but don't take my word for it, buy a ticket...but leave your american flag pajama pants at home...not cuz this region hates us and that symbol, but because they are ugly pants...
so anyway, enough tangients...8 days left...needless to say, i miss home...not so much the location as much as the people (and the washing machines and the Mountain Dew), but it will be amazing to see everyone again, so i look forward to it...and i leave you with my list, perhaps the last one ever...
1. the first day here, jenny ripped off a cabbies door handle and caused serious drama...thank god i can spit out some arabic or it woulda been a scary situation...in retrospect, it was hilarious, but undoubtedly stressful for her
2. maybe you are wondering why i constantly mention cab drivers...hard to explain, maybe you need to come here to experience them, but they are generally annoying, scummy, and doing anything they can to rip me off...no one is safe, though there a few good ones out there (you know who you are...as if any of them will ever read this)
3. i will miss having everything delivered to my door (beer, laundry, food etc)...i won't miss inhaling the equivalent of 91 cigarettes every time i walk out of my elevator...and i defintely won't miss nearly losing a limb in traffic...
4. how much is gas in the states now? i swear if its more than $3.00 i am moving back here immediately...
5. my english had gotten way worse since i have been here...mostly just my vocabulary has shrunk, so bear with me the first few days if i speak strangely...
6. ohhh good god i cant wait to see my dog...
7. this region has left a huge impression on me...i will be back soon, that is a promise....
this is todd, signing off (i always wanted to end a post like that)
peace
Monday, June 11, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
thoughts from me and my new mustache...
as a study abroader, i feel obligated to somehow wrap up this experience in some cliche, meaningful way that will tug at heart strings and give people a deep look into everything i have learned, experienced and seen, but instead i'll just write whatever comes out of this bearded head of mine, because that seems way more natural...
so its been almost exactly 4 months to the day that i arrived here in the megalopolis (excellent word) that is cairo...i still have a month left, so im truly not "wrapping things up" as some people say, but whatever, i will be traveling for the rest of my time, so deal with it...but like i was saying, boy how i have changed since i arrived here...i remember being scared out of my wits about being lost, stumbling with getting out numbers, surviving on laffy taffy and reese's that my mom gave me in my hotel because i was terrified to try and order food, and refusing to walk anything but straight lines because getting lost struck fear into the deepest part of my 160 pound frame...this was africa, this was better yet the 'middle east', that idea alone made most my family cringe and most of the people i told say "why the hell do you want to go there?"...
answer: i want to learn arabic. plus, i've done europe, i've done south america, and asia will soon be on my list...but the middle east (northern africa if you want to get technical) was far cooler than anything else i could dream up, and honestly i would change nothing about this experience...well except next time i will make sure i have a washer and dryer...more than anything, i am still young enough (and maybe naive enough) to have a sense of adventure that most of the people i know lack...how can you fully understand the world unless you see the world? i would argue that it's impossible...and i certainly don't claim to understand the world completely after this experience, but i am willing to bet my perspective is one step closer to completion (not that it could every possibly be complete)...
to continue on a different tangient, i began envisioning cairo during my first few weeks of arabic class at elon 2 years ago. my teacher had lived and married their, and she was awesome (not to mention from the same area in ohio) so i figured, "cairo, here i come", and a year and some change later, there i was, walking off a plane, hearing this crazy language that i wanted so badly to master, and i remember my first cab ride the best...i attempted to tell my driver that i thought cairo was beautiful (in retrospect, it is, but in its own special way)...but he couldn't understand me at all...its like 3 words, but i was rusty and i think i ended up saying "cairo city camel" (seriously, cuz beautiful and camel are almost identical words) which certainly made no sense...and that's when it set in, i was way in over my head, plus i had no place to live (i planned to find an apartment when i got here, which worked out amazingly because i found 2 excellent room mates and a sweet place, but it was by an act of buddah that i found them) but i used the 2 weeks leading up to class to adjust and get my bearings enough to feel comfortable running around...keep in mind i have spent all my life in either a small ohio town of a few thousand or suburban north carolina amongst my peers...cairo is one of the largest cities in the whole world, and the biggest in africa...safe to say i was daunted
i came thinking "after 6 months here, i should be pretty damn good at this language, and maybe in 2 years i'll be able to save the world"...haha, fat chance todd...but what did my 20 year-old mind know? well, here is where i stand...i am still pretty pitiful at the language, but i am leaps and bounds (cliche #?) ahead of where i was when i came...take my tests scores...entrance exam score: 17 (at best)...exit exam score: 54...vast improvement i'd say...although i have come to the frustrating/exciting realization that i will to study for AT LEAST 5 more years to get to the point where i can use this language effectively, but that means i have a great excuse to come back to this region after graduation (my parents will be thrilled!) and keep learning!
this just popped into my head, but my blog is aptly titled "nothing ventured, nothing gained", a huge cliche that is incredibly appropriate for this trip...i don't intend to toot my own proverbial horn, but i did come here without knowing anyone, barely knowing the language, without a place to live, a pocket full of ambition and crossed fingers...i'm saying that not because i want to point out how cool or risky i am (cuz i am neither) but rather because it seems like a pretty crazy proposition now...but i would certainly do it all again, and i hopefully will, just hopefully next time in a new country...
i suppose this post is aimless, pointless, unhumorus, and dodgy...but, as all these posts have, it serves more as a cool thing i can look back on and see what i was going through, and i am glad that any one you who read this are still reading this awful excuse for a post.
so about one month left until i taste the proverbial cake that is my home country...school ends tomorrow, and let's call this a wrap. the list as usual will follow, extra long this time...
1. on a mildly serious note, i will miss the friends i have made here...truly some of the smartest, coolest, funniest, and overall stand-up people i have ever had the privelege to meet...i am looking forward to home, but dreading leaving here
2. it will take me a few days to get out of arabic mode, and i promise i will say "momkin" (maybe, possibly) and "shukran" (thank you) to many people within my first few days...that will be awkward
3. i have had the privelege of traveling to egypt, jordan, syria, kenya, and lebanon during this trip...add in argentina, the UK, france, italy, mexico and canada before that and i have visited 11 countries besides the US (i hung in the chile airport, but i won't count that)...11 countries down, 182 to go....
4. when i am fluent in arabic (4 to 5 years, in sha allah), i will come back here, find every person that ripped me off while i have been here (and there are many) and i will serve justice on their scheming ways...actually, i won't do anything remotely vengeful or violent, i will probably just pout and yell at them...but this time in arabic!
5. ipods are single-handedly the greatest inovations ever to grace this planet...i dare any of you to prove me wrong...modern medicine came in a distant second...
6. i will do everything in my power to bring some of the amazing egyptian fast-food restaurants to the states...i mean mcdonalds, kfc and their fellow american fast food cronies are here, clogging the arteries and notching extra holes in the belts of egyptians, so why shouldn't egypt return the favor?
7. it is my mission this summer to learn how to type relatively quickly in arabic...which may be a problem considering my typing in english is quick, but unorthodox and in no way correct...but i can handle it...
8. someday i will read these posts and recognize what an idiot i was, but until that day i will continue to write obnoxious and altogether pointless posts...my life as a blogger may not be over after this excursion ends...
9. egyptian colloquial arabic is vastly different from modern standard arabic, and developed to make the language easier for everyday people...but they failed, because both languages are still incredibly hard...or maybe i am just a wimp...maybe both?
10. i can't help but wonder what things will be like when i am intoxicated in the future (LEGALLY)...i'm not sure i will be winning any hearts or minds when i have a few drinks and begin busting out my broken arabic...but then again, it should be fun...
11. i traditionally edit these posts, but i think this time i will let any mistake i made slide...afterall i pledged at the beginning to write whatever came to my large, bearded head...promise kept
hopefully there be at least one more of these before i leave in june...home june 20th, see you all then, in sha allah
fii amanillah
todd
so its been almost exactly 4 months to the day that i arrived here in the megalopolis (excellent word) that is cairo...i still have a month left, so im truly not "wrapping things up" as some people say, but whatever, i will be traveling for the rest of my time, so deal with it...but like i was saying, boy how i have changed since i arrived here...i remember being scared out of my wits about being lost, stumbling with getting out numbers, surviving on laffy taffy and reese's that my mom gave me in my hotel because i was terrified to try and order food, and refusing to walk anything but straight lines because getting lost struck fear into the deepest part of my 160 pound frame...this was africa, this was better yet the 'middle east', that idea alone made most my family cringe and most of the people i told say "why the hell do you want to go there?"...
answer: i want to learn arabic. plus, i've done europe, i've done south america, and asia will soon be on my list...but the middle east (northern africa if you want to get technical) was far cooler than anything else i could dream up, and honestly i would change nothing about this experience...well except next time i will make sure i have a washer and dryer...more than anything, i am still young enough (and maybe naive enough) to have a sense of adventure that most of the people i know lack...how can you fully understand the world unless you see the world? i would argue that it's impossible...and i certainly don't claim to understand the world completely after this experience, but i am willing to bet my perspective is one step closer to completion (not that it could every possibly be complete)...
to continue on a different tangient, i began envisioning cairo during my first few weeks of arabic class at elon 2 years ago. my teacher had lived and married their, and she was awesome (not to mention from the same area in ohio) so i figured, "cairo, here i come", and a year and some change later, there i was, walking off a plane, hearing this crazy language that i wanted so badly to master, and i remember my first cab ride the best...i attempted to tell my driver that i thought cairo was beautiful (in retrospect, it is, but in its own special way)...but he couldn't understand me at all...its like 3 words, but i was rusty and i think i ended up saying "cairo city camel" (seriously, cuz beautiful and camel are almost identical words) which certainly made no sense...and that's when it set in, i was way in over my head, plus i had no place to live (i planned to find an apartment when i got here, which worked out amazingly because i found 2 excellent room mates and a sweet place, but it was by an act of buddah that i found them) but i used the 2 weeks leading up to class to adjust and get my bearings enough to feel comfortable running around...keep in mind i have spent all my life in either a small ohio town of a few thousand or suburban north carolina amongst my peers...cairo is one of the largest cities in the whole world, and the biggest in africa...safe to say i was daunted
i came thinking "after 6 months here, i should be pretty damn good at this language, and maybe in 2 years i'll be able to save the world"...haha, fat chance todd...but what did my 20 year-old mind know? well, here is where i stand...i am still pretty pitiful at the language, but i am leaps and bounds (cliche #?) ahead of where i was when i came...take my tests scores...entrance exam score: 17 (at best)...exit exam score: 54...vast improvement i'd say...although i have come to the frustrating/exciting realization that i will to study for AT LEAST 5 more years to get to the point where i can use this language effectively, but that means i have a great excuse to come back to this region after graduation (my parents will be thrilled!) and keep learning!
this just popped into my head, but my blog is aptly titled "nothing ventured, nothing gained", a huge cliche that is incredibly appropriate for this trip...i don't intend to toot my own proverbial horn, but i did come here without knowing anyone, barely knowing the language, without a place to live, a pocket full of ambition and crossed fingers...i'm saying that not because i want to point out how cool or risky i am (cuz i am neither) but rather because it seems like a pretty crazy proposition now...but i would certainly do it all again, and i hopefully will, just hopefully next time in a new country...
i suppose this post is aimless, pointless, unhumorus, and dodgy...but, as all these posts have, it serves more as a cool thing i can look back on and see what i was going through, and i am glad that any one you who read this are still reading this awful excuse for a post.
so about one month left until i taste the proverbial cake that is my home country...school ends tomorrow, and let's call this a wrap. the list as usual will follow, extra long this time...
1. on a mildly serious note, i will miss the friends i have made here...truly some of the smartest, coolest, funniest, and overall stand-up people i have ever had the privelege to meet...i am looking forward to home, but dreading leaving here
2. it will take me a few days to get out of arabic mode, and i promise i will say "momkin" (maybe, possibly) and "shukran" (thank you) to many people within my first few days...that will be awkward
3. i have had the privelege of traveling to egypt, jordan, syria, kenya, and lebanon during this trip...add in argentina, the UK, france, italy, mexico and canada before that and i have visited 11 countries besides the US (i hung in the chile airport, but i won't count that)...11 countries down, 182 to go....
4. when i am fluent in arabic (4 to 5 years, in sha allah), i will come back here, find every person that ripped me off while i have been here (and there are many) and i will serve justice on their scheming ways...actually, i won't do anything remotely vengeful or violent, i will probably just pout and yell at them...but this time in arabic!
5. ipods are single-handedly the greatest inovations ever to grace this planet...i dare any of you to prove me wrong...modern medicine came in a distant second...
6. i will do everything in my power to bring some of the amazing egyptian fast-food restaurants to the states...i mean mcdonalds, kfc and their fellow american fast food cronies are here, clogging the arteries and notching extra holes in the belts of egyptians, so why shouldn't egypt return the favor?
7. it is my mission this summer to learn how to type relatively quickly in arabic...which may be a problem considering my typing in english is quick, but unorthodox and in no way correct...but i can handle it...
8. someday i will read these posts and recognize what an idiot i was, but until that day i will continue to write obnoxious and altogether pointless posts...my life as a blogger may not be over after this excursion ends...
9. egyptian colloquial arabic is vastly different from modern standard arabic, and developed to make the language easier for everyday people...but they failed, because both languages are still incredibly hard...or maybe i am just a wimp...maybe both?
10. i can't help but wonder what things will be like when i am intoxicated in the future (LEGALLY)...i'm not sure i will be winning any hearts or minds when i have a few drinks and begin busting out my broken arabic...but then again, it should be fun...
11. i traditionally edit these posts, but i think this time i will let any mistake i made slide...afterall i pledged at the beginning to write whatever came to my large, bearded head...promise kept
hopefully there be at least one more of these before i leave in june...home june 20th, see you all then, in sha allah
fii amanillah
todd
Monday, May 14, 2007
if only i had gills...
before i say or do anything, i must comment on something...here in the great nation-state that is egypt, there is a song sweeping the airwaves that i hear pretty much 14 times a day. i don't know the name exactly, or even who its by, however, i do know one thing...the words. how could i possibly memorize all the words you ask? well, because there are 2, count 'em, 2 words in the entire song...it goes like this...
"ahmar! (ahmar!) asfar! (asfar!!)...ahhhhhhhmmaaarrrr! assssssssfffaaaaarrr!"
what possibly could these crazy words mean? something political? social? words of the terrorists? how about colors...the song essentially is repeating the words "red, yellow" for 4 solid minutes in different tones and various screaming sounds. at first i thought "man, egyptian music is waaaaay dumber than american music." then i remebered such american radio hits as "save a horse, ride a cowboy" and "the barbie song" and i shut up...
but now for the serious stuff, the real reason i'm here...i think i was intended to be a fish or some sort of similar creature with gills (squid!? i'd be a hell of a squid), in fact im almost positive after yet another sea-faring adventure this weekend. we piled into our friend tom's SUV on thursday afternoon and tackled a 5 hour drive to a little slice of heaven called Dahab (arabic for gold). after a long and windy drive, we arrived to our hotel and began the activities...which actually just means we relaxed like professionals...dahab is perhaps the most relaxing place ever to exist, perhaps anywhere...the restaurants abandon tables and chairs for more comfortable pillows and body pillows, and perhaps coolest of all, there are stray animals everywhere...now, not like dirty stray New York City stray animals, but actually a clean and most excellent assortment of canine and feline friends to share your experience with...a great formula i'd say, and if you disagree, then you obviously hate cute animals...shame on you
anyway, so we began our first full day by snorkeling and soaking up rays (i naturally challenged the sun sans sunscreen cuz i enjoy a mild sunburn, but i quickly changed my tune the next day when my back resembled some sort of raw beef, lesson learned...until next time). the snorkeling was ridiculous, as we could walk straight into the water from our hotel and swim maybe 20 yards and meet a giant reef wall teeming with fish of all shapes and sizes. and i exaggerate not (odd english structure there) when i say there were perhaps 12,297 jellyfish clouding the water...a nightmare to many, an adventure to people who consider themselves, well, adventursome...i qualify as the person who voted for the nightmare, as i was constantly convinced jellyfish were eating me alive, though i never was stung...we abandoned the snorkeling gear for the SUV and headed to the surrounding mountains along with a few beers (nothing like beer in 98 begree weather...actually it wasn't a wise choice, but i'll never admit that publicly)...this is where the real adventure ensued...
we drove around and off-roaded for a while, seeing little that struck our fancy...until suddenly we stumbled upon a makeshift cave/den thing tucked away in the mountains...we obviously had to explore, so we ditched the vehicle and checked it out...everything seemed fairly routine, you know just a little cave where someone was obviously living...then tyler saw a syringe..."strange" i thought, until i realized i was standing in an ocean of sorts, only instead of water, it contained used syringes...i know what you're all thinking "todd, that's gross and dangerous and i hope you didn't touch any of them"...well, please give me some credit, i'm not dumb enough to trip and fall and stab myself, but i am dumb enough to pick a few up (AWAY from the needle, i bet my mom is gunna punch me for doing this) so we could take weird pictures...overall, i was very careful, so no worries, but we asked some people in town what the deal was and they told us that Bedouins go up to those mountains to shoot up heroin...ummm, neat i guess...it was actually pretty cool and surreal, and straight out of "The Hills Have Eyes" because i was certain that i was going to be attacked by a heroin junkie at any moment...
the night came and went with much beer and good food being consumed, and we dove head first into the next day...we snorkeled yet again at the world famous Blue Hole (literally world famous, some of the best snorkeling anywhere in the world, no joke) which was incredible, except again i was bombarded by jellyfish who were clearly jealous of my tan and the fact that i have bones and they don't (keep dreaming jellyfish)...after cooling down (it was almost 100 degrees for goodness sake, but i was reveling in it) we headed back to the mountains to revisit the heroin camp and scale a mini-mountain, which we did and got some incredible pictures of the red sea...oh yea, did i mention you can see Saudi Arabia from Dahab? yea, no big deal...we had illusions of grandeur where we would rent a paddle boat, buy lots of beer and paddle to Saudi, but apparently someone tried that, was cut off by the Saudi coast guard and woke up back in the home country...so i guess it wouldn't have been worth it...or would it?
so that was pretty much it...not too electrifyingly exciting (that may have been the first time i've ever said "electrifyingly", but it won't be the last, you better believe it) but i got the tan i was hoping for and we had all sorts of laughs and good times...not the least was the Czech girl we spied on the beach who was literally (yes, i am completely serious) the most beautiful girl i have ever laid eyes on in person...stan, being the bold man he is, went and spoke to her (god knows i would never do that) and found out her name was Lana...good god she was really something...he also spoke to another beauitful woman, but didn't get too far because she couldn't understand his bastardized texas-ancented english, but neither can i sometimes...
"ahmar! (ahmar!) asfar! (asfar!!)...ahhhhhhhmmaaarrrr! assssssssfffaaaaarrr!"
what possibly could these crazy words mean? something political? social? words of the terrorists? how about colors...the song essentially is repeating the words "red, yellow" for 4 solid minutes in different tones and various screaming sounds. at first i thought "man, egyptian music is waaaaay dumber than american music." then i remebered such american radio hits as "save a horse, ride a cowboy" and "the barbie song" and i shut up...
but now for the serious stuff, the real reason i'm here...i think i was intended to be a fish or some sort of similar creature with gills (squid!? i'd be a hell of a squid), in fact im almost positive after yet another sea-faring adventure this weekend. we piled into our friend tom's SUV on thursday afternoon and tackled a 5 hour drive to a little slice of heaven called Dahab (arabic for gold). after a long and windy drive, we arrived to our hotel and began the activities...which actually just means we relaxed like professionals...dahab is perhaps the most relaxing place ever to exist, perhaps anywhere...the restaurants abandon tables and chairs for more comfortable pillows and body pillows, and perhaps coolest of all, there are stray animals everywhere...now, not like dirty stray New York City stray animals, but actually a clean and most excellent assortment of canine and feline friends to share your experience with...a great formula i'd say, and if you disagree, then you obviously hate cute animals...shame on you
anyway, so we began our first full day by snorkeling and soaking up rays (i naturally challenged the sun sans sunscreen cuz i enjoy a mild sunburn, but i quickly changed my tune the next day when my back resembled some sort of raw beef, lesson learned...until next time). the snorkeling was ridiculous, as we could walk straight into the water from our hotel and swim maybe 20 yards and meet a giant reef wall teeming with fish of all shapes and sizes. and i exaggerate not (odd english structure there) when i say there were perhaps 12,297 jellyfish clouding the water...a nightmare to many, an adventure to people who consider themselves, well, adventursome...i qualify as the person who voted for the nightmare, as i was constantly convinced jellyfish were eating me alive, though i never was stung...we abandoned the snorkeling gear for the SUV and headed to the surrounding mountains along with a few beers (nothing like beer in 98 begree weather...actually it wasn't a wise choice, but i'll never admit that publicly)...this is where the real adventure ensued...
we drove around and off-roaded for a while, seeing little that struck our fancy...until suddenly we stumbled upon a makeshift cave/den thing tucked away in the mountains...we obviously had to explore, so we ditched the vehicle and checked it out...everything seemed fairly routine, you know just a little cave where someone was obviously living...then tyler saw a syringe..."strange" i thought, until i realized i was standing in an ocean of sorts, only instead of water, it contained used syringes...i know what you're all thinking "todd, that's gross and dangerous and i hope you didn't touch any of them"...well, please give me some credit, i'm not dumb enough to trip and fall and stab myself, but i am dumb enough to pick a few up (AWAY from the needle, i bet my mom is gunna punch me for doing this) so we could take weird pictures...overall, i was very careful, so no worries, but we asked some people in town what the deal was and they told us that Bedouins go up to those mountains to shoot up heroin...ummm, neat i guess...it was actually pretty cool and surreal, and straight out of "The Hills Have Eyes" because i was certain that i was going to be attacked by a heroin junkie at any moment...
the night came and went with much beer and good food being consumed, and we dove head first into the next day...we snorkeled yet again at the world famous Blue Hole (literally world famous, some of the best snorkeling anywhere in the world, no joke) which was incredible, except again i was bombarded by jellyfish who were clearly jealous of my tan and the fact that i have bones and they don't (keep dreaming jellyfish)...after cooling down (it was almost 100 degrees for goodness sake, but i was reveling in it) we headed back to the mountains to revisit the heroin camp and scale a mini-mountain, which we did and got some incredible pictures of the red sea...oh yea, did i mention you can see Saudi Arabia from Dahab? yea, no big deal...we had illusions of grandeur where we would rent a paddle boat, buy lots of beer and paddle to Saudi, but apparently someone tried that, was cut off by the Saudi coast guard and woke up back in the home country...so i guess it wouldn't have been worth it...or would it?
so that was pretty much it...not too electrifyingly exciting (that may have been the first time i've ever said "electrifyingly", but it won't be the last, you better believe it) but i got the tan i was hoping for and we had all sorts of laughs and good times...not the least was the Czech girl we spied on the beach who was literally (yes, i am completely serious) the most beautiful girl i have ever laid eyes on in person...stan, being the bold man he is, went and spoke to her (god knows i would never do that) and found out her name was Lana...good god she was really something...he also spoke to another beauitful woman, but didn't get too far because she couldn't understand his bastardized texas-ancented english, but neither can i sometimes...
anyway, that is the short and sweet account of our Dahab adventure, truly one of the better weekends i have had here...until next time, i leave you with the list you all know and love...
1. i saw a man pushing a push lawn mower over a bridge today at 7:30 am...no real point to this story, except that there is hardly any grass in the entire city, plus it was a nice lawn mower...odd
2. i saw a man obviously peeing in public today, though the bottom half of his body was obscured by a short wall...just absurd, what has the world come to...
3. i have made and eaten mashed potatoes 13 out of the last 14 days...safe to say i am obsessed...
4. egypt is really hot...i mean really freaking hot...and i think heat makes me crave mcdonalds/pizza hut...does that make me a bad person?
5. i took my exit exam this morning where i say i completed about 70 of the 120 questions, one of 4 reading comprehensions and a 2 paragraph essay (all in arabic mind you)...sounds bad i know, until i share the fact that last time i took this test (as the entrance and placement exam) i answered 17 questions, zero reading comprehensions, and wrote a one sentence "essay"...slight improvement i must say...
6. 7 days of class left...then my sister comes with her room mate for an insane 2 weeks adventure...excellent
ma'a salama asdiquaai!
Sunday, April 29, 2007
lions and elephants and baboons...Oh Myyyyyy...
so, if you have never been on a safari, drop whatever it is you're doing right now (which presumably is reading this blog...so stop it) and fly to africa (specifically kenya) and immediately go on a safari...nothing extravagant, just a few days to live among the beasts, because i just returned from such a trip and needless to say it was THE GREATEST WEEK OF MY LIFE...please allow my to "break it down"...this post shall be mighty long, perhaps you should take it slowly, i apoligize...
so the evening of monday april 23 my friend stan and I headed to cairo airport to begin our kenyan safari adventure that we have had in the works for over 2 months (a quick tidbit about my travel buddy, he is awesome...self-admitted hick from texas, absolutely hilarious and perhaps the most outgoing man i have ever met...what a guy)...so our flight left late and awkwardly stan and i were 2 of 9 passengers on a 747 that has a capacity of approx. 360 people (i calculated, i can handle simple multiplication)...obviously, it was a weird experience and we were able to wreak havoc on the plane (which we didn't...however, we calculated that EgyptAir lost approx. $10,000 on this flight...seems like a poor business decision, but i'm no expert)...anyway, we arrived in nairobi at 3:30 am, got visas, found our bags and met our guide-to-be, the one and only JOSEPH (his name is deserving of all capital letters because he made experience amazing)...after killing a few hours, settling the safari bill, and purchasing some bug spray, we were off! just stan and I in a 7 passenger van with Joseph at the helm...thus the adventure begins...
so from nairobi to Masai Mara National park is about a 6 hour drive or so, which wouldn't be bad if Kenya didn't have the BUMPIEST ROADS KNOWN TO MAN...seriously, i can't even imagine how they became so bumpy...it was as if the entire kenyan population owned their own jackhammer and did their civic duty making some deep potholes before breakfast each morning, but i digress...after getting used to the bumps (which wasn't easy, i felt like i was constantly exercising by trying to stay upright and avoid hitting my head, which sucks), we were on the outskirts of the park, viewing of first animals such as gazelles and baboons, when suddenly our back left tire got stuck in a huge muddy hole, so we attempted every idea known to man to get unstuck, to no avail, for nearly 2 hours until our personal Jesus came in the form of 4 Dutch tourists on safari...they promptly pulled us to safety and we made it to camp, and headed on our first game drive...
the first drive provided enough excitement to last my elementary school-type mind a lifetime, but the excitement was nonstop...we saw the typical zebras, buffalo, and 81 million gazelles (that is an approximation) and then stumbled on a feeding CHEETAH which was sweeter than i ever imagined. so we gawked at him/her (not to be sexist) for a while, then stumbled on a herd of elephants roaming around which was equally awesome...stan and i tried to entice the elephant to charge our van (because that would be the coolest story ever) but our attempts were futile... so we ended our short first drive, but we were pumped with so much success and couldn't wait for the forthcoming 8 hour drive the next day...
the next day began with light rain that persisted most the day, which would have bothered me, but i was on A SAFARI so i didn't care...we saw the usual elephants, gazelles, a few ostriches, and some cool birds for a few hours, then we found the motherload...4 lions hanging out, 3 of which were lionesses hunting a sole gazelle and one male...the gazelle probably thought we liked gazelles a lot all of a sudden, because he couldn't see the lions, but after a while he came to understand that gazelles (typically) don't attract large crowds, and he suspected that trouble was afoot (which it was, in the form of 3 lionesses)...but he managed to escape and we were about to leave when the male lion got up...we watched as he walked toward our van and my window was open (we have this on film, just you wait!) and this huge lion strolled up to our van, literally 4 feet from me MAXIMUM and walked around the back of the van and proceeded to PEE ON OUR SAFARI VEHICLE! i'm not sure if it was his way of saying "get out of my park, i'm the king" but it was perhaps the coolest thing ever to happen to me and stan (is it sad that the "coolest thing to ever happen to me" involved a wild animal peeing on something? that's just plain ridiculous)...the rest of the day was great, although we were constantly recalling how cool it was to have a lion pee on our van...so we ended the drive after 8 amazing hours, and headed to a Masai village where we toured the town of a group of Masai (a tribe found in East Africa) and bought loads of cool wood carved stuff (originally my bill totalled nearly 80 dollars, so i had to get picky) but after thoroughly enjoying the village and engaging in their customs, we headed to camp, had some tuskers (kenyan beer) and hit the sack...
it should be noted that our guide, the amazing Joseph, made this trip unforgetable...he knew everything about every animal which was helpful...we would often ask questions to gauge the behavior of the animals like "what would happen if i ran up and stole that warthog baby from the mother?" or "what would happen if i ran up and smacked that lion right in the ass?" to which Joseph calmly replied "It would immedaitely kill you"...point taken...
anyway, we drove to Nakuru the next day, and stayed in a gorgeous hotel in the town, but stan and i were literally the ONLY white folks in the town, at least that we could tell...which certainly wasn't a problem, but it didn't exactly allow us to "blend in" like we can in cairo...but we made the best of the sleepy town by finding a pool hall and enjoying more tusker and prepping for our final safari day...
our final day was spent at lake nakuru, which was incredibly gorgeous but couldn't really compete with the urinating lion. we saw about a million flamingoes (literally), lots of giraffes, and a bunch of huge rhinos which made the experience really memorable, and overall it was a perfect way to end the unbelievable safari...so we headed back to nairobi that afternoon, bid farewell to the amazing joseph, and took nairobi by storm, and by that i mean we walked around a lot...
actually, we ate the famous Carnivore restaurant there, where we enjoyed delights such as crocidile (which i didn't like) and Ostrich (which i enjoyed thoroughly)...the meal was amazing, and we decided to hit a recommended dance club afterward, even though i hate dancing and clubs, but why not? i may never be in nairobi again...so we walk in to the club named Florida 2000 and i immediately spy 30 of the most beautiful women i have ever seen (by the way, kenyan women are drop dead gorgeous) and i was in utter shock...however, our kenyan friend we met informed us they were indeed all prostitutes, which disappointed me, but its not like i would have talked to them anyway, so the fact that they were prosititutes probably saved me from making lame excuses about why i wouldn't talk to girls...well, the drama didn't end there...being white attracts the prostitutes because they assume we have money (HUGE MISTAKE, though my newly ironed shirt exuded wealth)...but since stan told them our kenyan friend was his girlfriend, they preyed on me...and before i knew it a woman named hannah was sitting next to me, offering her services...i had to fib a little and say i had a girlfriend back home and insist i wasn't interested (although she was beautiful) and oddly enough she didn't leave but we ended up talking for over an hour...it is a funny story i know to say that i befriended a prostitute in nairobi, but it was really sad hearing her story and my eyes were certainly opened by the experience, certainly something i won't soon forget...
so we spent the next day strolling around nairobi (a city that has a terrible reputation, but is actually quite safe and neat), and we attempted to enter the national museum after walking 2 km to it, but it was closed which was a detail that EVERYONE we asked for directions failed to mention...so we had some beers, listened to some of the worst karaoke i have ever heard (a rendition o f 'my heart will go on' that can only be compared to being as bad as my dancing if you can imagine), and prepared to depart at 3 am, which went off without a hitch...again, our plane contained only 20 people which creeped me out, and i hadn't realized that daylight savings time had changed the time, so i was incredibly confused most of the morning, but we arrived safely with hundreds of pictures and amazing memories to share...
and if the aforementioned details didn't convince you to head on an african safari, perhaps my pictures can, which will be up shortly. anyway, overall the safari was an unforgettable experience of a lifetime that will go down as one of the most fun experiences ever...i do recommend that you all try it at some point, as you undoubtedly will adore it...i will leave you again with my trademark list and i bid you all farewell....
1. kenya has it made (minus the severe poverty, kenya rocks...the people are incredible, the women are gorgeous and the scenery isn't bad either)
2. flying on a huge jet at 2% capacity seems cool, but it was actually quite odd
3. the browns finally didn't make me regret being from cleveland with their draft choices, thank goodness
4. safari is acronym for Super Awesome Forage into the Amazing Reality of the Incredible (okay, that acronym attempt sucked, i admit it)
5. safari is actually a word that comes from arabic, from the word safar which means to travel (i'm such a linguist)
6. don't worry, my room mate gave me an extra stick of deodorant so i do not smell (at least i shouldn't)
7. the true heat of cairo is coming and is inescapable...god help us
8. i never want to be an adult, i wish i could just go on adventures every few weeks
9. by far the greatest souveneir i acquired in kenya was a authentic lion's claw...its def real (i can tell by the remaining flesh on it)...plus it makes me feel cool...
10. keep the family of Brenna Minor in your thoughts tonight. you may remember a few posts ago I mentioned her as the girl I had the privelege of traveling with over spring break who got in a motorcycle accident. well, while i was on safari she passed away at the age of 17. a tragic end to a terribly tragic turn of events. things like this should never happen, and the pain that her family is enduring is far beyond anything i can imagine. again, i write this blog to help myself heal through laughter, but keep the family in your thoughts.
african love
todd (aka the lion king)
so the evening of monday april 23 my friend stan and I headed to cairo airport to begin our kenyan safari adventure that we have had in the works for over 2 months (a quick tidbit about my travel buddy, he is awesome...self-admitted hick from texas, absolutely hilarious and perhaps the most outgoing man i have ever met...what a guy)...so our flight left late and awkwardly stan and i were 2 of 9 passengers on a 747 that has a capacity of approx. 360 people (i calculated, i can handle simple multiplication)...obviously, it was a weird experience and we were able to wreak havoc on the plane (which we didn't...however, we calculated that EgyptAir lost approx. $10,000 on this flight...seems like a poor business decision, but i'm no expert)...anyway, we arrived in nairobi at 3:30 am, got visas, found our bags and met our guide-to-be, the one and only JOSEPH (his name is deserving of all capital letters because he made experience amazing)...after killing a few hours, settling the safari bill, and purchasing some bug spray, we were off! just stan and I in a 7 passenger van with Joseph at the helm...thus the adventure begins...
so from nairobi to Masai Mara National park is about a 6 hour drive or so, which wouldn't be bad if Kenya didn't have the BUMPIEST ROADS KNOWN TO MAN...seriously, i can't even imagine how they became so bumpy...it was as if the entire kenyan population owned their own jackhammer and did their civic duty making some deep potholes before breakfast each morning, but i digress...after getting used to the bumps (which wasn't easy, i felt like i was constantly exercising by trying to stay upright and avoid hitting my head, which sucks), we were on the outskirts of the park, viewing of first animals such as gazelles and baboons, when suddenly our back left tire got stuck in a huge muddy hole, so we attempted every idea known to man to get unstuck, to no avail, for nearly 2 hours until our personal Jesus came in the form of 4 Dutch tourists on safari...they promptly pulled us to safety and we made it to camp, and headed on our first game drive...
the first drive provided enough excitement to last my elementary school-type mind a lifetime, but the excitement was nonstop...we saw the typical zebras, buffalo, and 81 million gazelles (that is an approximation) and then stumbled on a feeding CHEETAH which was sweeter than i ever imagined. so we gawked at him/her (not to be sexist) for a while, then stumbled on a herd of elephants roaming around which was equally awesome...stan and i tried to entice the elephant to charge our van (because that would be the coolest story ever) but our attempts were futile... so we ended our short first drive, but we were pumped with so much success and couldn't wait for the forthcoming 8 hour drive the next day...
the next day began with light rain that persisted most the day, which would have bothered me, but i was on A SAFARI so i didn't care...we saw the usual elephants, gazelles, a few ostriches, and some cool birds for a few hours, then we found the motherload...4 lions hanging out, 3 of which were lionesses hunting a sole gazelle and one male...the gazelle probably thought we liked gazelles a lot all of a sudden, because he couldn't see the lions, but after a while he came to understand that gazelles (typically) don't attract large crowds, and he suspected that trouble was afoot (which it was, in the form of 3 lionesses)...but he managed to escape and we were about to leave when the male lion got up...we watched as he walked toward our van and my window was open (we have this on film, just you wait!) and this huge lion strolled up to our van, literally 4 feet from me MAXIMUM and walked around the back of the van and proceeded to PEE ON OUR SAFARI VEHICLE! i'm not sure if it was his way of saying "get out of my park, i'm the king" but it was perhaps the coolest thing ever to happen to me and stan (is it sad that the "coolest thing to ever happen to me" involved a wild animal peeing on something? that's just plain ridiculous)...the rest of the day was great, although we were constantly recalling how cool it was to have a lion pee on our van...so we ended the drive after 8 amazing hours, and headed to a Masai village where we toured the town of a group of Masai (a tribe found in East Africa) and bought loads of cool wood carved stuff (originally my bill totalled nearly 80 dollars, so i had to get picky) but after thoroughly enjoying the village and engaging in their customs, we headed to camp, had some tuskers (kenyan beer) and hit the sack...
it should be noted that our guide, the amazing Joseph, made this trip unforgetable...he knew everything about every animal which was helpful...we would often ask questions to gauge the behavior of the animals like "what would happen if i ran up and stole that warthog baby from the mother?" or "what would happen if i ran up and smacked that lion right in the ass?" to which Joseph calmly replied "It would immedaitely kill you"...point taken...
anyway, we drove to Nakuru the next day, and stayed in a gorgeous hotel in the town, but stan and i were literally the ONLY white folks in the town, at least that we could tell...which certainly wasn't a problem, but it didn't exactly allow us to "blend in" like we can in cairo...but we made the best of the sleepy town by finding a pool hall and enjoying more tusker and prepping for our final safari day...
our final day was spent at lake nakuru, which was incredibly gorgeous but couldn't really compete with the urinating lion. we saw about a million flamingoes (literally), lots of giraffes, and a bunch of huge rhinos which made the experience really memorable, and overall it was a perfect way to end the unbelievable safari...so we headed back to nairobi that afternoon, bid farewell to the amazing joseph, and took nairobi by storm, and by that i mean we walked around a lot...
actually, we ate the famous Carnivore restaurant there, where we enjoyed delights such as crocidile (which i didn't like) and Ostrich (which i enjoyed thoroughly)...the meal was amazing, and we decided to hit a recommended dance club afterward, even though i hate dancing and clubs, but why not? i may never be in nairobi again...so we walk in to the club named Florida 2000 and i immediately spy 30 of the most beautiful women i have ever seen (by the way, kenyan women are drop dead gorgeous) and i was in utter shock...however, our kenyan friend we met informed us they were indeed all prostitutes, which disappointed me, but its not like i would have talked to them anyway, so the fact that they were prosititutes probably saved me from making lame excuses about why i wouldn't talk to girls...well, the drama didn't end there...being white attracts the prostitutes because they assume we have money (HUGE MISTAKE, though my newly ironed shirt exuded wealth)...but since stan told them our kenyan friend was his girlfriend, they preyed on me...and before i knew it a woman named hannah was sitting next to me, offering her services...i had to fib a little and say i had a girlfriend back home and insist i wasn't interested (although she was beautiful) and oddly enough she didn't leave but we ended up talking for over an hour...it is a funny story i know to say that i befriended a prostitute in nairobi, but it was really sad hearing her story and my eyes were certainly opened by the experience, certainly something i won't soon forget...
so we spent the next day strolling around nairobi (a city that has a terrible reputation, but is actually quite safe and neat), and we attempted to enter the national museum after walking 2 km to it, but it was closed which was a detail that EVERYONE we asked for directions failed to mention...so we had some beers, listened to some of the worst karaoke i have ever heard (a rendition o f 'my heart will go on' that can only be compared to being as bad as my dancing if you can imagine), and prepared to depart at 3 am, which went off without a hitch...again, our plane contained only 20 people which creeped me out, and i hadn't realized that daylight savings time had changed the time, so i was incredibly confused most of the morning, but we arrived safely with hundreds of pictures and amazing memories to share...
and if the aforementioned details didn't convince you to head on an african safari, perhaps my pictures can, which will be up shortly. anyway, overall the safari was an unforgettable experience of a lifetime that will go down as one of the most fun experiences ever...i do recommend that you all try it at some point, as you undoubtedly will adore it...i will leave you again with my trademark list and i bid you all farewell....
1. kenya has it made (minus the severe poverty, kenya rocks...the people are incredible, the women are gorgeous and the scenery isn't bad either)
2. flying on a huge jet at 2% capacity seems cool, but it was actually quite odd
3. the browns finally didn't make me regret being from cleveland with their draft choices, thank goodness
4. safari is acronym for Super Awesome Forage into the Amazing Reality of the Incredible (okay, that acronym attempt sucked, i admit it)
5. safari is actually a word that comes from arabic, from the word safar which means to travel (i'm such a linguist)
6. don't worry, my room mate gave me an extra stick of deodorant so i do not smell (at least i shouldn't)
7. the true heat of cairo is coming and is inescapable...god help us
8. i never want to be an adult, i wish i could just go on adventures every few weeks
9. by far the greatest souveneir i acquired in kenya was a authentic lion's claw...its def real (i can tell by the remaining flesh on it)...plus it makes me feel cool...
10. keep the family of Brenna Minor in your thoughts tonight. you may remember a few posts ago I mentioned her as the girl I had the privelege of traveling with over spring break who got in a motorcycle accident. well, while i was on safari she passed away at the age of 17. a tragic end to a terribly tragic turn of events. things like this should never happen, and the pain that her family is enduring is far beyond anything i can imagine. again, i write this blog to help myself heal through laughter, but keep the family in your thoughts.
african love
todd (aka the lion king)
Friday, April 20, 2007
let me count the ways...
for those of you who knows me fairly well, or at least have spent a decent amount of time with me, it is no secret that i have some serious issues with the great country known as the United States. in many ways, the the things the country has come to stand for are quite the opposite of every belief i hold in my little bleeding liberal heart...rampant materialism, nuts foreign policy, unabashed egos etc. however, i have lived abroad for about 3 months now, and while i love experiencing new cultures and people, there is are just some things that the united states does undeniably well. so no, i am not writing to bash the U.S. today (perhaps later) but rather to write about the things i truly miss about our troubled, yet fantastic, country...so here we go...
obviously, first and foremost, my family and friends are greatly missed, which should seem evident by my nearly constant emails, facebook messages and skype calls...but what can i say? you guys are fantastic and i can't wait to see you again...sentiment aside, my real list begins...
1. washing machines/dryers/dishwashers: there is something about doing laundry in the bathtub and then hanging it on a line that will make you wish you had a nice washer/dryer set fresh from sears. seriously, there is nothing worse the putting on my shirts with stretched necks, crunchy jeans, and sorry-excuse for socks...not to mention, nothing gets clean (i mean REALLY clean)...the water is always brown/grey and terribly gross after i wash a load, and let's just say i can't wait to do some laundry in june! also, washing your dishes by hand sucks, but our kitchen barely fits a sink and a fridge, much less a dishwasher...oh well
2. large, convenient stores: i gaurentee you all underestimate how nice large, all-inclusive stores like target are. your "one-stop shop" if you will. however, in egypt if my list of things i need includes chicken, vegetables, aspirin, and deodorant i must make at least 2 separate trips, because apparently deodorant or aspirin have no place in grocery stores, but rather completely separate stores in different parts of the city. chalk it up to me being lazy and spoiled, but whatever. oh and i almost forgot, this country doesn't really sell men's deodorant...well, except for the one stick thats like 8 bucks and obviously 13 years old...so luckily my room mate had an extra stick, or let's just say my next 2 months would have been unpleasantly sweaty and smelly
3. BEST BUY: again, seems ridiculous, i know, but i love everything about best buy...nothing makes me feel better than buying a new cd and enjoying it (even i don't enjoy the cd, it is still thrilling!). however, there simply is no space for such a store. you can count on me going on a serious CD binge when i return home though
4. functional elevators: granted, elevators aren't a huge part of my life back home, but here they are a daily encounter that could end your life (seriously). its a good day if our elevator works, a great day if it arrives in under 8 minutes after pushing the button, and the best day if it takes you to the correct floor. i mean just the other day, our elevator stopped halfway between floors, giving us a 3 foot space to jump through, and at any time it could have resumed motion...harrowing is the only way i can describe the experience...i have a new found hatred for elevators
5. traffic laws: see previous posts
6. domestic animals: i understand city life is not meant for cats and dogs...not to mention most animals are considered unclean to Islam, thus pets aren't exactly welcome, but this country would be much happier if they all had dogs. if you have a dog, you know what i mean. if you don't have a dog, i doubt you're even a human...cats are okay, but their biggest downfall is that they aren't dogs, which they may never acheive
7. cable television: i try not to watch too much TV (i'd much rather play video games, duh) but i can't live without national geographic, discovery channel, and the occassional court tv. in egypt, tv consists of awkward and confusing ads (like people who lose their cars after eating at KFC?), awful and canceled american shows (except drew carey and scrubs), and AK-47 tossing contests...i'm serious, there are entire shows devoted to men throwing guns up in the air like batons, its not only weird, but it is also kind of awful...you must watch to understand
8. driving: i love my car and i love to drive (but not without loud music)...however, driving here would mean certain death for me...so i will just have to wait
9. mail service: i know most people hate getting bills in the mail, but here its worse. the bill collectors come to your door, ask for money for whatever bill, and sit their while you scrounge up the necessary Pounds. its not only awkward, but we have all come to hate our damn doorbell (which is a bird chirp, of all things...so scary and creepy, especially when im cooking and standing right next to the damn speaker)...anyway, we have bills for trash collection, gas, electricity, rent, and water, all of which a different dude collects at an undetermined time during the month...10 pounds for 'rubbish', 50 for electricity...it adds up...plus they never speak english so we stand their for like 12 minutes wondering what the hell is going on...at any rate, it sucks and my body has been conditioned to silently scream whenever the doorbell rings...
10. SHOWERS: yes, i do shower here daily, but my shower is a joke...no curtain, no stationary showerhead...it basically consists of a shower head that you have to hold and a tub and the hot water lasts all of 4 minutes (literally)...so this is a typical shower...get wet as quickly as possible, turn off water, lather up, turn on water and rinse, enjoying maybe one minute of warmth, dry off, clean up immense amounts of water of the floor since there isn't a curtain...repeat daily...i never knew showers could be full body work outs, but holding a shower head certainly takes most the relaxation out of showering...i miss my bathroom...
so that's my top 10 list...granted i still love egypt, i merely miss a few of the conveniences we enjoy as privleged americans. however, there are certainly some things i don't miss...
1. unpredictable weather: cairo is consistently hot, which i love...ohio, you suck at weather, N.C. you're slightly better
2. expensive prices: i live like an unimportant member of a royal family over here
3. george bush: need i go on?
anyway, that's all for now, nothing significant has occured lately so i figured i'd write something random, as much for me to look back on as for you to enjoy...kenya is in 3 days though, so expect some writings on that! i leave you with my food for thought...
1. i still can't figure out why no one here sells men's deodorant?
2. i've lived here 3 months and haven't seen even half of cairo, THAT'S how big it is...
3. the beef here tastes weird, regardless of how i cook it
4. every store here delivers...grocers, food, beer...you name it, it can be at your doorstep before you can say "i am getting fatter and lazier by the hour"
5. this post consisted almost entirely of seperate lists...
farewell for now
fii ammaanillah (in the safety of god)
todd
obviously, first and foremost, my family and friends are greatly missed, which should seem evident by my nearly constant emails, facebook messages and skype calls...but what can i say? you guys are fantastic and i can't wait to see you again...sentiment aside, my real list begins...
1. washing machines/dryers/dishwashers: there is something about doing laundry in the bathtub and then hanging it on a line that will make you wish you had a nice washer/dryer set fresh from sears. seriously, there is nothing worse the putting on my shirts with stretched necks, crunchy jeans, and sorry-excuse for socks...not to mention, nothing gets clean (i mean REALLY clean)...the water is always brown/grey and terribly gross after i wash a load, and let's just say i can't wait to do some laundry in june! also, washing your dishes by hand sucks, but our kitchen barely fits a sink and a fridge, much less a dishwasher...oh well
2. large, convenient stores: i gaurentee you all underestimate how nice large, all-inclusive stores like target are. your "one-stop shop" if you will. however, in egypt if my list of things i need includes chicken, vegetables, aspirin, and deodorant i must make at least 2 separate trips, because apparently deodorant or aspirin have no place in grocery stores, but rather completely separate stores in different parts of the city. chalk it up to me being lazy and spoiled, but whatever. oh and i almost forgot, this country doesn't really sell men's deodorant...well, except for the one stick thats like 8 bucks and obviously 13 years old...so luckily my room mate had an extra stick, or let's just say my next 2 months would have been unpleasantly sweaty and smelly
3. BEST BUY: again, seems ridiculous, i know, but i love everything about best buy...nothing makes me feel better than buying a new cd and enjoying it (even i don't enjoy the cd, it is still thrilling!). however, there simply is no space for such a store. you can count on me going on a serious CD binge when i return home though
4. functional elevators: granted, elevators aren't a huge part of my life back home, but here they are a daily encounter that could end your life (seriously). its a good day if our elevator works, a great day if it arrives in under 8 minutes after pushing the button, and the best day if it takes you to the correct floor. i mean just the other day, our elevator stopped halfway between floors, giving us a 3 foot space to jump through, and at any time it could have resumed motion...harrowing is the only way i can describe the experience...i have a new found hatred for elevators
5. traffic laws: see previous posts
6. domestic animals: i understand city life is not meant for cats and dogs...not to mention most animals are considered unclean to Islam, thus pets aren't exactly welcome, but this country would be much happier if they all had dogs. if you have a dog, you know what i mean. if you don't have a dog, i doubt you're even a human...cats are okay, but their biggest downfall is that they aren't dogs, which they may never acheive
7. cable television: i try not to watch too much TV (i'd much rather play video games, duh) but i can't live without national geographic, discovery channel, and the occassional court tv. in egypt, tv consists of awkward and confusing ads (like people who lose their cars after eating at KFC?), awful and canceled american shows (except drew carey and scrubs), and AK-47 tossing contests...i'm serious, there are entire shows devoted to men throwing guns up in the air like batons, its not only weird, but it is also kind of awful...you must watch to understand
8. driving: i love my car and i love to drive (but not without loud music)...however, driving here would mean certain death for me...so i will just have to wait
9. mail service: i know most people hate getting bills in the mail, but here its worse. the bill collectors come to your door, ask for money for whatever bill, and sit their while you scrounge up the necessary Pounds. its not only awkward, but we have all come to hate our damn doorbell (which is a bird chirp, of all things...so scary and creepy, especially when im cooking and standing right next to the damn speaker)...anyway, we have bills for trash collection, gas, electricity, rent, and water, all of which a different dude collects at an undetermined time during the month...10 pounds for 'rubbish', 50 for electricity...it adds up...plus they never speak english so we stand their for like 12 minutes wondering what the hell is going on...at any rate, it sucks and my body has been conditioned to silently scream whenever the doorbell rings...
10. SHOWERS: yes, i do shower here daily, but my shower is a joke...no curtain, no stationary showerhead...it basically consists of a shower head that you have to hold and a tub and the hot water lasts all of 4 minutes (literally)...so this is a typical shower...get wet as quickly as possible, turn off water, lather up, turn on water and rinse, enjoying maybe one minute of warmth, dry off, clean up immense amounts of water of the floor since there isn't a curtain...repeat daily...i never knew showers could be full body work outs, but holding a shower head certainly takes most the relaxation out of showering...i miss my bathroom...
so that's my top 10 list...granted i still love egypt, i merely miss a few of the conveniences we enjoy as privleged americans. however, there are certainly some things i don't miss...
1. unpredictable weather: cairo is consistently hot, which i love...ohio, you suck at weather, N.C. you're slightly better
2. expensive prices: i live like an unimportant member of a royal family over here
3. george bush: need i go on?
anyway, that's all for now, nothing significant has occured lately so i figured i'd write something random, as much for me to look back on as for you to enjoy...kenya is in 3 days though, so expect some writings on that! i leave you with my food for thought...
1. i still can't figure out why no one here sells men's deodorant?
2. i've lived here 3 months and haven't seen even half of cairo, THAT'S how big it is...
3. the beef here tastes weird, regardless of how i cook it
4. every store here delivers...grocers, food, beer...you name it, it can be at your doorstep before you can say "i am getting fatter and lazier by the hour"
5. this post consisted almost entirely of seperate lists...
farewell for now
fii ammaanillah (in the safety of god)
todd
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
i (HEART SYMBOL HERE) beirut
it is official, i love the whole world...
a bold statement, i know, perhaps a more accurate statement would be "i have much affection for the 3 countries i visited over spring break"...that's a little less bold i'd say...at any rate, it was nice to finally have a spring break considering my last 3 or 4 have been spent at a nursing home working ungodly hours...so i welcomed the opportunity to head with some friends to Lebanon, Syria and Jordan...i know what your thinking, and i will address it right off the bat...yes, these places aren't the most stable in the world, but i assure you, being the "seasoned traveler" that i am, i didn't put myself in any situation that would be considered more dangerous than jumping in a pit with menstruating gorillas...i mean it would be just as dangerous walking through NYC at night...the media doesn't exactly portray these places well either, which hurts, but take it from me, these places are really pretty safe and never once did i feel uncomfortable...in fact, i felt more welcomed in all these places than i do in cairo much of the time...any way, enough rambling, more awesomeness...
we arrived in beirut the 29th and the partying began...allow me to say that beirut is the coolest place in the world...another bold statement, but i am sticking by this one...let's just say we partied at a club where THE ROOF WAS RETRACTABLE so you danced beneath the stars! if that's not the greatest invention ever (besides the slinky and q-tips) i don't know what is...anyway, the scenery is gorgeous...beirut has the med. sea, mountains, valleys...you name it, beirut has it and i absolutely loved it...not to mention i partied with the son of the former lebanese president, and he also took me for a (very fast) ride in his porsche 911 twin turbo...i can now die a happy man...(i could write about beirut for the next 11 pages, but rather i will stop here and allow you to ask me the rest and check my pictures...don't be greedy)
i should say now that things didn't exactly go as planned...the 2nd night one of our travel companions got in a serious motorcycle accident...there are a billion little details and substories and i am sure as you read this you are mighty curious...but suffice it to say she is still in critical condition and we are all holding our breath for a full recovery...and while the tragedy certainly put a damper on the vacation, we decided to press on because we had done all we could for her and the investigation...thus, after a strenuous week in beirut we drove onto syria on april 5th...
(if any of you are appalled that i can write or try to be funny when such a dire situation is at hand, please understand that my philosophy is that laughter is the ultimate cure for anything...thus writing this is cathartic for me)
anyway, we pressed onto syria, driving through the Bekka Valley and saw reminents of the war this summer, including bombed out bridges (check my pictures) which was a sobering reminder that Lebanon has more than its fair share of problems...anyway, what was supposed to be an easy 3 hour drive from beirut to damascus went a little awry (the theme of this trip was things going wrong basically)...given that our group consisted of 5 americans, obtaining a syrian visa became a 7 hour (yes SEVEN HOURS) ordeal...and as bad as it sounds, it wasn't too terrible...we passed the time at the ironic Dunkin Donuts on the border, and ran around the duty free shop (where i entertained the idea of buying $60 cuban cigars, but opted for $1 Moutain Dew instead...staying true to my roots)...all the while, we watched as countless europeans jet through the border like they were running on a slip-n-slide...but after 7 hours, we were issued our visas and headed to the longest continually inhabited city in the world (how's THAT for a title) DAMASCUS...
damascus certainly was no beirut (but beirut had the advantage which i documented by purchasing an I <3 beirut tshirt, another lebanon shirt, 2 flags, a flag pin and 2 flag stickers...but who's counting?) we explored the market and bought lots of crap we don't need, but our contributions to the syrian economy were not in vain, because im proud of my purchases...at any rate, we used the next morning to explore the great mosque and a part of the old city but then decided to continue with the last leg of the trip...
Greg and I spent an hour trying to find a cab since apparently minibuses don't exist in syria (damn them) and we ended up with a small SUV type thing that was supposed to fit 5 of us...so basically tyler got the front seat, the other 3 guys sat in the back seat and the one girl laid across all our laps...safe? no...did we get many weird looks? yes...before departing damascus though, we stopped to get drinks at a rest stop where i started speaking to some dude in arabic (or tried to at least) only to realize he spoke perfect english and knew where Akron, Ohio was...cuz he graduated from OHIO STATE! what are the chances of meeting that guy in syria? sometimes my life doesn't make sense...in any case, we headed to amman, jordan cramped and tired...luckily jordan and the USA are boys so we got through the border faster than you could say "i ain't nothing but a hound dog" (what is todd talking about?)
jordan proved to be absolutely amazing, and if it weren't competing against beirut, it would have taken the proverbial cake in the coolest places contest...amman is a sleepy town, but the people are incredibly friendly and loved us and we even met some cool french girl and smoked sheesha like the professional smokers we are...then it was on to the ancient city of petra...which i think is arabic for "tourist trap"...petra is essentially the coolest place ever...an ancient city carved into a mountain (in the running for one of the new wonders of the world, move over pyramids)...it was amazing and i can hardly explain it and i doubt my pictures do it any justice...let's just say petra is cooler than me, which depending on who you are could be really good or really bad...our hotel there was cool too, although the gang was quite deflated to learn that the jacuzzi was not operating after we hiked approx. 3 miles through mountains in 90 degree weather while wearing pants...oh well, we had one day left and we were determined to make it memorable, and we did just that...
our final day was spent at the Dead Sea (the lowest point on earth, not to mention the saltiest body of water in the universe)...we found a beach and quickly took the plunge...but the density of the water makes you float on the surface, and makes swimming on your stomach virtually mish momkin (impossible) because your legs are pushed over your head...hard to explain, but trust me, you must go there...also sensational was the fact that we could see israel from our beach, and if i hadn't eaten all those pop-tarts in my teen years, maybe i could have swam there but i wasn't about to try, cool nonetheless...the oddest thing of the day was when i noticed all the funny europeans had black crap all over them, and only later did i learn that supposedly the muddy clay crap from the bottom of the sea is supposed to help your skin in some way...at first i thought "no way will i cover my pale body in this putrid garbage" but i soon gave in and smeared until i couldn't smear any further, covering my upper body in the mud (see my pictures, i look like a sea-monster)...for the record, it didn't do anything for my skin, but rather just made me look dumb which i suppose isn't a far cry from how i looked throughout most the trip (see photos where i am sporting my unusually large bug-like sunglasses)...oh well
so that was the conclusion and we flew back to cairo the next day, and we were all quite ready considering we had no idea how hard it is to live out of a suitcase for nearly 2 weeks straight...so overall, the trip was the following list of adjectives...amazing, exhausting, strenuous, exuberant, breath-taking, glorious, humbling but most of all just plain cool...i highly recommend that any of my readers (is it stupid that i call you readers? as if i write a weekly column in the wall street journal? sorry) make the trek to any of the aforementioned locations...i certainly will be returning to all the places and i hope you all consider it as well....but i suppose that is it, i will leave you all with my traditional tidbits...farewell for now...
1. riding in a porsche at mach 11 with the son of the former lebanese president is cooler than anything i've ever done (well, pretty close at least)
2. nancy pelosi was following us our whole trip...that crazy woman mimicked our route to a T, but we threw her off with our extra days in beirut...take that nancy
3. the people in all 3 of the countries (especially lebanon) are the kindest people i have ever met...not like "hold the door open for you" kind, but like "would do anything, ANYTHING, to make you happy and show you their country" kind.
4. we all bought huge (most likely female) euro-sunglasses with huge lenses to make fun of the silly europeans we saw...but i ended up liking them too...although, people literally laughed in our faces a lot when we were seen wearing them...
5. i have quite an extensive flag collection...
6. all countries should be required by international law to ban the use of toilets that have water hoses instead of using toilet paper...it is just plain wrong
7. i head to kenya in 2 weeks, shenanigans will ensue...prepare yourself...
ma'a salama
todd
a bold statement, i know, perhaps a more accurate statement would be "i have much affection for the 3 countries i visited over spring break"...that's a little less bold i'd say...at any rate, it was nice to finally have a spring break considering my last 3 or 4 have been spent at a nursing home working ungodly hours...so i welcomed the opportunity to head with some friends to Lebanon, Syria and Jordan...i know what your thinking, and i will address it right off the bat...yes, these places aren't the most stable in the world, but i assure you, being the "seasoned traveler" that i am, i didn't put myself in any situation that would be considered more dangerous than jumping in a pit with menstruating gorillas...i mean it would be just as dangerous walking through NYC at night...the media doesn't exactly portray these places well either, which hurts, but take it from me, these places are really pretty safe and never once did i feel uncomfortable...in fact, i felt more welcomed in all these places than i do in cairo much of the time...any way, enough rambling, more awesomeness...
we arrived in beirut the 29th and the partying began...allow me to say that beirut is the coolest place in the world...another bold statement, but i am sticking by this one...let's just say we partied at a club where THE ROOF WAS RETRACTABLE so you danced beneath the stars! if that's not the greatest invention ever (besides the slinky and q-tips) i don't know what is...anyway, the scenery is gorgeous...beirut has the med. sea, mountains, valleys...you name it, beirut has it and i absolutely loved it...not to mention i partied with the son of the former lebanese president, and he also took me for a (very fast) ride in his porsche 911 twin turbo...i can now die a happy man...(i could write about beirut for the next 11 pages, but rather i will stop here and allow you to ask me the rest and check my pictures...don't be greedy)
i should say now that things didn't exactly go as planned...the 2nd night one of our travel companions got in a serious motorcycle accident...there are a billion little details and substories and i am sure as you read this you are mighty curious...but suffice it to say she is still in critical condition and we are all holding our breath for a full recovery...and while the tragedy certainly put a damper on the vacation, we decided to press on because we had done all we could for her and the investigation...thus, after a strenuous week in beirut we drove onto syria on april 5th...
(if any of you are appalled that i can write or try to be funny when such a dire situation is at hand, please understand that my philosophy is that laughter is the ultimate cure for anything...thus writing this is cathartic for me)
anyway, we pressed onto syria, driving through the Bekka Valley and saw reminents of the war this summer, including bombed out bridges (check my pictures) which was a sobering reminder that Lebanon has more than its fair share of problems...anyway, what was supposed to be an easy 3 hour drive from beirut to damascus went a little awry (the theme of this trip was things going wrong basically)...given that our group consisted of 5 americans, obtaining a syrian visa became a 7 hour (yes SEVEN HOURS) ordeal...and as bad as it sounds, it wasn't too terrible...we passed the time at the ironic Dunkin Donuts on the border, and ran around the duty free shop (where i entertained the idea of buying $60 cuban cigars, but opted for $1 Moutain Dew instead...staying true to my roots)...all the while, we watched as countless europeans jet through the border like they were running on a slip-n-slide...but after 7 hours, we were issued our visas and headed to the longest continually inhabited city in the world (how's THAT for a title) DAMASCUS...
damascus certainly was no beirut (but beirut had the advantage which i documented by purchasing an I <3 beirut tshirt, another lebanon shirt, 2 flags, a flag pin and 2 flag stickers...but who's counting?) we explored the market and bought lots of crap we don't need, but our contributions to the syrian economy were not in vain, because im proud of my purchases...at any rate, we used the next morning to explore the great mosque and a part of the old city but then decided to continue with the last leg of the trip...
Greg and I spent an hour trying to find a cab since apparently minibuses don't exist in syria (damn them) and we ended up with a small SUV type thing that was supposed to fit 5 of us...so basically tyler got the front seat, the other 3 guys sat in the back seat and the one girl laid across all our laps...safe? no...did we get many weird looks? yes...before departing damascus though, we stopped to get drinks at a rest stop where i started speaking to some dude in arabic (or tried to at least) only to realize he spoke perfect english and knew where Akron, Ohio was...cuz he graduated from OHIO STATE! what are the chances of meeting that guy in syria? sometimes my life doesn't make sense...in any case, we headed to amman, jordan cramped and tired...luckily jordan and the USA are boys so we got through the border faster than you could say "i ain't nothing but a hound dog" (what is todd talking about?)
jordan proved to be absolutely amazing, and if it weren't competing against beirut, it would have taken the proverbial cake in the coolest places contest...amman is a sleepy town, but the people are incredibly friendly and loved us and we even met some cool french girl and smoked sheesha like the professional smokers we are...then it was on to the ancient city of petra...which i think is arabic for "tourist trap"...petra is essentially the coolest place ever...an ancient city carved into a mountain (in the running for one of the new wonders of the world, move over pyramids)...it was amazing and i can hardly explain it and i doubt my pictures do it any justice...let's just say petra is cooler than me, which depending on who you are could be really good or really bad...our hotel there was cool too, although the gang was quite deflated to learn that the jacuzzi was not operating after we hiked approx. 3 miles through mountains in 90 degree weather while wearing pants...oh well, we had one day left and we were determined to make it memorable, and we did just that...
our final day was spent at the Dead Sea (the lowest point on earth, not to mention the saltiest body of water in the universe)...we found a beach and quickly took the plunge...but the density of the water makes you float on the surface, and makes swimming on your stomach virtually mish momkin (impossible) because your legs are pushed over your head...hard to explain, but trust me, you must go there...also sensational was the fact that we could see israel from our beach, and if i hadn't eaten all those pop-tarts in my teen years, maybe i could have swam there but i wasn't about to try, cool nonetheless...the oddest thing of the day was when i noticed all the funny europeans had black crap all over them, and only later did i learn that supposedly the muddy clay crap from the bottom of the sea is supposed to help your skin in some way...at first i thought "no way will i cover my pale body in this putrid garbage" but i soon gave in and smeared until i couldn't smear any further, covering my upper body in the mud (see my pictures, i look like a sea-monster)...for the record, it didn't do anything for my skin, but rather just made me look dumb which i suppose isn't a far cry from how i looked throughout most the trip (see photos where i am sporting my unusually large bug-like sunglasses)...oh well
so that was the conclusion and we flew back to cairo the next day, and we were all quite ready considering we had no idea how hard it is to live out of a suitcase for nearly 2 weeks straight...so overall, the trip was the following list of adjectives...amazing, exhausting, strenuous, exuberant, breath-taking, glorious, humbling but most of all just plain cool...i highly recommend that any of my readers (is it stupid that i call you readers? as if i write a weekly column in the wall street journal? sorry) make the trek to any of the aforementioned locations...i certainly will be returning to all the places and i hope you all consider it as well....but i suppose that is it, i will leave you all with my traditional tidbits...farewell for now...
1. riding in a porsche at mach 11 with the son of the former lebanese president is cooler than anything i've ever done (well, pretty close at least)
2. nancy pelosi was following us our whole trip...that crazy woman mimicked our route to a T, but we threw her off with our extra days in beirut...take that nancy
3. the people in all 3 of the countries (especially lebanon) are the kindest people i have ever met...not like "hold the door open for you" kind, but like "would do anything, ANYTHING, to make you happy and show you their country" kind.
4. we all bought huge (most likely female) euro-sunglasses with huge lenses to make fun of the silly europeans we saw...but i ended up liking them too...although, people literally laughed in our faces a lot when we were seen wearing them...
5. i have quite an extensive flag collection...
6. all countries should be required by international law to ban the use of toilets that have water hoses instead of using toilet paper...it is just plain wrong
7. i head to kenya in 2 weeks, shenanigans will ensue...prepare yourself...
ma'a salama
todd
Monday, March 19, 2007
what's a 7 letter word for "todd's demise"?
let it be known, cairo and its numerous agents that have tried for 2 months to break down my immune system have finally succeeded...thus, if you didn't get that convoluted sentence, i have a cold...but not just any cold, a BAD cold, with no nyquil to be seen for kilometers (haha, take that MILES, you've been replaced)...deprive me of nyquil and throw dust and exhaust in my face and we have a seriously defeated american immune system on our hands...but i shall bounce back, as if any of you were worried (perhaps i am being a bit dramatic, but don't judge, you can't see my suffering)
anyway, i didn't have any incredible or life-threatening experiences this weekend (aside from this cold) however i have decided to treat a serious issue that plagues cairo like the english language plagues meester bush (oops, i've been trying not to wear my opinions on my sleeve, but whatever, i can't help it sometimes)...and that issue ladies and gentlepeople is one i have mentioned many-a-time before now...that's right, the sure-to-be death of Todd...
traffic
i know what you're saying, "Todd, don't be a wuss, just use the cross walks, wear bright colors, and look both ways. Everything you learned from your parents and elementary school!" HA! you all are so logical, but you must trust that i tried that...let's just say if the Traffic and Road Laws of the United States were implemented in Cairo for a brief period of 2 days, every individual would either be in jail or have so many fines they would be selling their kidneys...i kid you not...
"But Todd, Surely they have traffic lights?" Well, faithful readers and fanatics, they do indeed have traffic lights, but the colors they display have about as much bearing on drivers as the DARE program had on most drug-dealers...in other words, they are meaningless, they may as well be lavendar, turquoise, and blue...the only way people will stop is if a police man runs into the road, whistling and flailing, and they slam on their breaks, giving the intersecting road their own free-for-all...
"Okay Todd, but surely the lanes restrict the movement of cars?!"...Another novel idea, but just as idealistic. Indeed there are lanes painted on the roads, but they are also meaningless. We would be better off if they painted paw prints, fairies, heiroglyphics, and melting clocks on the pavement, perhaps those would distract drivers enough to slow them down at least.
"Alright Todd, but the pedestrains surely have the right-of way, right?" I WISH, my fellow americans, but as a rule pedestrians are little more than obstacles on the enormous obstacle course that is cairo. In my first few days here, i learned that cars really will HIT YOU, whether its a warning shot with a mirror or a full fledged plow, they will get you. And if they don't, a little delivery scooter will, damaging your pride even further. I have been fortunate enough to avoid all the aforementioned scenarios so far, but 3 more months is a long time to keep that up...cross your fingers for me...
Multiply this pandomonium with the millions of cubic tons of exhaust fumes that fill cairo's skyline everyday, and you have yourself a regular old catastrophe, complete with risks of lung disease, cancers, and perhaps some STDs are floating around in those fumes (unlikely i know, but you never can bee TOO careful)...toss in the fact that speed limits are fairly non-existent (for example, my bus on the way to hurghada for scuba diving was clocked at over 100 KPH...in the mountains...at night...in the wrong lane sometimes...coulda been worse i guess) and we have ourselves one large egytpian shindig of metal, pollution and people...how amazing...
i will add that last week i saw a jeep, sitting in the middle of a very busy road in tahrir sqaure, all 4 doors open, no one inside...now, i am no traffic or logistics expert, but something tells me that that car presented some sort of hazard...as if we didn't have enough...
anyway, i must be off, seeing as this post is reaching the 81st page milestone (is he serious?) and you are all bored so i id you all farewell, but not before my signature food for thought section...
1. this section has no point
2. i broke down, i bought a big mac yesterday...it was amazing, no regrets...not yet at least
3. cab drivers are simultaneously the coolest and most awful people in cairo, what's the deal?
4. soon the temperature will be consistently over 100 degrees...buddah help us all
5. i have blossomed into one heck of a chef over here...however, i am limited to dishes that include pasta and...well that pretty much does it...
6. last but not least, if a frog had a back pocket, would it carry a gun? burning questions...
ma'a salama
todd
anyway, i didn't have any incredible or life-threatening experiences this weekend (aside from this cold) however i have decided to treat a serious issue that plagues cairo like the english language plagues meester bush (oops, i've been trying not to wear my opinions on my sleeve, but whatever, i can't help it sometimes)...and that issue ladies and gentlepeople is one i have mentioned many-a-time before now...that's right, the sure-to-be death of Todd...
traffic
i know what you're saying, "Todd, don't be a wuss, just use the cross walks, wear bright colors, and look both ways. Everything you learned from your parents and elementary school!" HA! you all are so logical, but you must trust that i tried that...let's just say if the Traffic and Road Laws of the United States were implemented in Cairo for a brief period of 2 days, every individual would either be in jail or have so many fines they would be selling their kidneys...i kid you not...
"But Todd, Surely they have traffic lights?" Well, faithful readers and fanatics, they do indeed have traffic lights, but the colors they display have about as much bearing on drivers as the DARE program had on most drug-dealers...in other words, they are meaningless, they may as well be lavendar, turquoise, and blue...the only way people will stop is if a police man runs into the road, whistling and flailing, and they slam on their breaks, giving the intersecting road their own free-for-all...
"Okay Todd, but surely the lanes restrict the movement of cars?!"...Another novel idea, but just as idealistic. Indeed there are lanes painted on the roads, but they are also meaningless. We would be better off if they painted paw prints, fairies, heiroglyphics, and melting clocks on the pavement, perhaps those would distract drivers enough to slow them down at least.
"Alright Todd, but the pedestrains surely have the right-of way, right?" I WISH, my fellow americans, but as a rule pedestrians are little more than obstacles on the enormous obstacle course that is cairo. In my first few days here, i learned that cars really will HIT YOU, whether its a warning shot with a mirror or a full fledged plow, they will get you. And if they don't, a little delivery scooter will, damaging your pride even further. I have been fortunate enough to avoid all the aforementioned scenarios so far, but 3 more months is a long time to keep that up...cross your fingers for me...
Multiply this pandomonium with the millions of cubic tons of exhaust fumes that fill cairo's skyline everyday, and you have yourself a regular old catastrophe, complete with risks of lung disease, cancers, and perhaps some STDs are floating around in those fumes (unlikely i know, but you never can bee TOO careful)...toss in the fact that speed limits are fairly non-existent (for example, my bus on the way to hurghada for scuba diving was clocked at over 100 KPH...in the mountains...at night...in the wrong lane sometimes...coulda been worse i guess) and we have ourselves one large egytpian shindig of metal, pollution and people...how amazing...
i will add that last week i saw a jeep, sitting in the middle of a very busy road in tahrir sqaure, all 4 doors open, no one inside...now, i am no traffic or logistics expert, but something tells me that that car presented some sort of hazard...as if we didn't have enough...
anyway, i must be off, seeing as this post is reaching the 81st page milestone (is he serious?) and you are all bored so i id you all farewell, but not before my signature food for thought section...
1. this section has no point
2. i broke down, i bought a big mac yesterday...it was amazing, no regrets...not yet at least
3. cab drivers are simultaneously the coolest and most awful people in cairo, what's the deal?
4. soon the temperature will be consistently over 100 degrees...buddah help us all
5. i have blossomed into one heck of a chef over here...however, i am limited to dishes that include pasta and...well that pretty much does it...
6. last but not least, if a frog had a back pocket, would it carry a gun? burning questions...
ma'a salama
todd
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